Drag the blade across my skin
Sit down and watch the room spin
As my blood runs thin
I think of all the times that have been
Healing the pain within
Author notes
my first time rhyming anything
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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oh i like it
Great job, this is a wonderful write.
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Thanks Much!
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this is short and the rhyme seems a little forced for me.it very simple,no depth.i dont like the line i think of all the times ive been healing the pain within.its like you were thinking about all the times you cut yrself while you were cutting yrself?and ive read the line drag the blade across my skin so many times in so many poems
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thanx i appreciate it
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i thought this was a very great start! I think you could expand on it some, but considering how short it was, you did a great job painting a picture of the pain that one feels. nicely done!
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thax!
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It all rhymes and it flows alright, but you're not really offering any insight at all or expressing anything tangible. It's promising, but I think you should expand on it.
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thanx i will wen i get time
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so true so true
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hahah thnx
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cool
short and simple but definitly arwsome!! -
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thanx!!
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WHAT CAN I SAY IT WAS GREAT
I LIKED IT ALOT YOU PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER ORDERLY(AND THE ROOM REALLY DOES SPIN)AND EVERYTHING FIT TOGETHER GREAT.AWSOME -
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thnx
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this was deep and great flow doll
i am so proud of you and you know why!
good poem keep up the great work love you lots -
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thx
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Well, for your first time, thats really good rhyming. I like it, and think you did a very good job. I believe the situation is perfectly clear. Great work.
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yay!!!
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Wow... How very sad. The situation is vague and unknown, but still leaves a strong impact on the reader. It made my heart literally clench.
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thanx!! i appreciate u reading it !
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