I知 really close to tears
I知 teetering on the edge
Destruction痴 right below me
Right beneath the ledge.
I知 so afraid of falling
I知 folding into myself
The darkness is all around me
I知 falling off this shelf.
The tears are tumbling down
The knife is in my hand
I知 shaking as I do it
But this is what I planned.
Please let me know what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this is short.its almost like i want to read more of it,like i want it to be longer.at first i thought it was gonna be about jumping off a building.but no.i like it though.it rhymes very well and it flows really nicley.
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Very simple, this is how it is. Poem. I like how you did it though, it had an interesting rhyme scheme... it thought it had a nice rhythm too... But, I felt there wasn't enough emotion in this poem.. (oh oh, I know what you are thinking... Who are YOU to tell me what I think?!?!?!?!??) But, that's not what I'm saying. I just didn't feel what you were feeling at this time.. It just wasn't there.
But, I like how you didn't describe the cutting and such... >.>
~I like your writing!
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Chilling
Nice! Very chilling and doom-sounding almost. Liked it very much!
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Oh, this is very good. I love how you wrote it. It's so good. Great work.
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A powerfully sad write. Full of emotion. I like the "I'm folding into myself" line. Very creative. I know that many feel this way, and it could be the way you feel, and not a creation at all. Good write.
Kelli -
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Kellie Marie
Thanks, it wasn't written on personal experience, really, I don't think.
I mean, obviously I have had moments in which I've felt extremely sad... but this poem did not come to me at that moment. In fact, I was just sitting there and the words just came to my head...
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