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the grinding wheel

 

 

 

 

 

 

the dark air fills
with points
of light
thrown from
the grinding wheel

smell of rising smoke
and stars
and everything it steals

blinding light,
transforming heat

the single lesson plain

when something
touches something else


neither stays
the same

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • toomysterious
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    This one struck a nerve. The images saying all. Everything you touch and everything that touches you.


  • Emerald13
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    the poetry of philosophy ... nicely captured in the final stanza and beautifully lined up in the action ... lovely poetry ... i would like to see a different title (perhaps even take out the single lesson line and make it the title ?) .. just musing - in the hope something may be of help, if it gets in your way, please ignore

    ... >>> Gina

  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    March 9
    Edit | Reply

    excellent as always..

  • ecrivain01 silver member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent ...

    and I wonder if you'd object to my posting this up on my blog?

    http://poetsporch.blogspot.com/



  • Elora Danon gold member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    i had to step away from this, dry my eyes and gather myself together before i could comment.

    this one really hit home for me al.

    "when something
    touches something else

    neither stays
    the same"

    i have been touched by your poetry many, many times - and i am all the better for it.

    thank you for entering and allowing me the opportunity to let you know how your work inspires me.

    becky


  • Redstormy gold member
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I hear ya.. love the simplicity and the depth!

    Red

  • Desiree Darkk
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    The first time I read this, the first stanza reminded me of George Bush Sr thousand points of light. But I read on anyway.

    "when something
    touches something else
    neither stays
    the same"

    You bet. Nice work.

    Desiree


  • Faithbound gold member
    February 29
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing...I loved it. Saw your contest so I thought I'd come check you out. This is good...

  • the atlantic
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    the ending was the real grinding of the wheel for me, so understated and true, it speaks volumes. excellent write, missed you friend!


  • ariosto gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Be careful though, one sharpens and one dulls...action reaction
    but
    this is a wonderful poem, not only the content but the form. A great message in a perfect package.

    Good one Al!


  • BrokenAngel24
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    I read your works over again and tell you how i love thy words but you still have yet to please me by publishing a book.

    ~Carlie


  • mantis180
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is beautiful, for some reason it reminds me strongly of when I was a little girl, sitting in my dads garage, watching him work on his cars, the grinder would touch the metal, and sparks would fly into the air, blinding lights, and it would get so hot from the heat, you could smell the metal... And when something touches something else, they were both different in some way... like many things in life.

    Wonderful poem AJ, and thanks for bringing up lost memories...
  • K-Dense
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    when something
    touches something else


    neither stays
    the same


    -Word.

    -C

  • Zayra Yves gold member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful Al.

    I love the "something else touches something else" line.


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply


    Love the metaphor here, and the image that you combined with it. I'm always a little afraid of those wheels...the light is intimidating. Go figure.




  • Nicolette gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    When two worlds collide....always light, always sparks...always change... Beautiful and meaningful poetry, Al... you have such a talent to write poetry that I wish I'd written... wonderful.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Namita silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    Wowow. Yep, the rhyming is subtle and lovely. You're so clever, Al boy. I think Mary and I should coin the term "AJ Morelli-lines" and put it in here. I love the message you convey here.

    "when something
    touches something else

    neither stays
    the same"

    Extremely beautiful. I love ya

    'cause you're too good.

    Amazing poetry as usual!


    - namitaq


  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    You're right Al... when two things collide and cause sparks to fly.. the light is so beautiful coming off each one..

    beautimous my friend, truly

    G.x

  • michael thomas
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    so simple and magic with words. read it twice - it increases in plain beauty. lovely...

  • Arzab
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write and very metaphorical. It made me think that when someone touches another person's heart, their lives can change significantly. Best of luck in the contest.


  • misselaineous gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    subtle
    and beautiful imagery and metaphor
    you are such an excellent poet who never fails to disappoint me
    wish it were so easy in real life
    elaine


  • Rowan gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love the ambiguity of
    "when something
    touches something"
    it's perfect, and the rhyming effect here works, as it reminded me of the rythmic sound of a wheel.


  • Allyce May
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    DING DONG! This is amazing. The ending ties everything together so beautifully. You are so right, in every sense of the word. A simple touch changes everything, either for better or worse. Ohhhhh, wow. Stunning imagery. I love it


  • Cat gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    hello..
    you may want to take a motrin-
    i found rhyme.. shhhh.. don't tell anyone... because they may not understand that rhyme is not
    bad- there are only poor rhymers..
    and this
    is the sort
    of rhyme
    i like- the subtle
    the prophetic
    the grindy type.

    good imagery
    u rock

    me of the mary mees

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