One summer night

every night,
i pull up in my driveway and walk across a cobblestone pathway
i am careful not to step on the little flowers growing in the gravel benieth the steps.
i reach my front door and turn the key
i open the door and enter the front hallway.

i walk into the living room and toss my coat onto a chair,
i go into the kitchen and turn on the light
i walk over to the fridge and start to rummage through it
as usual there is nothing there for me

i close the fridge and the noise it makes in such a silent place seems thunderous
i shut off the kitchen light
go down 13 steps,
and walk down a hallway to my room.

i open the door and kick aside a couple of debris and slide over to my bed.
i flop down face first and hug my one of my many pillows.

i sit there for a while smelling the pillow he once slept on
the scent is long gone but i imagine its still there

finally i get up and undress
i look upon my form and practice posture
a few funny faces
then i grab some bedclothes and walk over to the bathroom down the hallway
i jump in the shower and turn the faucet on,
at first the water is cold but soon it warms up
i wash my hair and body,
soap flowing down my skin with the water

i get out and dry myself with a fluffy towel
i get into my bedclothes and brush my teeth wash my face and comb my hair
i go back to my room and close the door

i shut off the light and walk over to my bed
i lie in the dark for a while,
then i hear my mom get home.

she walks around upstairs,
no doubt having a drink after a long day at work
she stays up there for half an hour, waiting for her boyfriend to get here
when he does he makes so much noise
that if i had been asleep he would have woken me

no doubt they have more drinks
after an hour or so they come down the stairs
they go into the room across the hallway from mine

by now its nearly midnight
i set my alarm and go to sleep.

i don't want to hear what happens next

at 2:00 am my alarm rings
my mother and her lover are asleep by now

i get out of bed
i grab a few candles and some crystals from a purple box under my bed

i walk to a small patch of forest about a block away
and go to a small clearing i made a very long time ago during the summer
tonight is fairly warm
i arrange the candles and light them
they cast a faint glow on my makeshift encampment

a small crudely built hut with a few blankets, extra candles
some food, spare cloths, and a small flask of almond extract

i arrange the crystals and sit in the center of the arrangement
i look at the moon
i sense the feelings of the earth and moon
i listen to their song

when i can no longer hold my eyes open i get my blankets and pillows and bring them to the center of my arrangement and settle down, clothing tossed aside

i sleep off the summer evening into the sunrise
i get up and put my candles away
i put my crystals into a leather bag and tie it to my waist

i walk out of my secret place and start my day
another lazy summer day
waiting to share my special place with a special person