The dial counted down the suns demise
while bats danced waltzes above churches roof,
and breeze played melody through wooden guise
of pseudo organs; stolid yews aloof.
Hungry lych-gate waited with open maw,
as he crossed the threshold from life to death,
and owl shouted sorrow for all it saw
as morasses sigh seeped from stuttered breath.
falling sod hammers holes into my heart,
gargoyles seem to have forgotten to smile
and crow is ready, your soul must depart,
but dad I hope you may linger awhile.
Beneath this façade, this pseudo repose
lay maelstrom sorrow, its power beguiled,
to shatter like falls this still waters pose
and return my thoughts to a frightened child.
When his arms were young, his hug ensured
that pain was vanquished no matter its mask,
but with body betrayed, power obscured,
pain took away even this simplest task.
I recall the room that held his last sigh
with flowers that could only fade to grey,
curtains that stirred as if waving goodbye
in sterile silence of total dismay.
It was as if tears were not enough
for this hero, this man, my father.. .. dad,
yet each that soaked into handkerchief cuff;
tomorrows memory of being sad.
You were the teacher who taught me to live
with wisdom refracted from within eyes,
that for all received we must surely give
much more to appreciate our prize.
so my father, where ever you may be
I hope you hear this and can comprehend,
on my life I offer this guarantee,
your lesson guides me, from now to my end.
~Epitaph~
So now your husk beneath the ground interred
and with chiselled grief upon my heart,
that echoes with such sad sorrow unheard,
I face a future where we’re apart.
I curse the heavens high, scream down at hell
that like twins, I cannot live as just one,
though I walk through life, spirit doesn’t dwell.
I am night; your death was my setting sun.
Author notes
Elegy - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elegy
Written in elegiac stanzas (10 syllables per line with ABAB rhyme)
Individual Write For Team 3
A contest entry
- ~~BEST POET ON AP:SEASON 3:ROUND:4~~ by wakingdevil.
500 points, ended February 27, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #51 Turning green to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Loved this better at second read. Great imagery.
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I don't know whether you have totally rewritten this or was it just my bad mood thanks to some people that day that I didn't appreciate this as much?
This is brilliant!Absolutely loved the last stanza...very well portrayed, overall, a wonderful elegy.Thanks for editing
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I actually didn't edit any, I added the Epitaph stanzas to try and add a little more emotion
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Ah!I see, well done!
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so my father, where ever you may be
I hope you hear this and can comprehend,
on my life I offer this guarantee,
your lesson guides me, from now to my end.
Oh, a wonderful elegy. Your rhyming is great, but the message you carry throughout is so strong and felt by the reader. Good luck to you in the contest!
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A beautiful elegy Fug Hugs, Bunny
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wow this is such a wonderful tribute and it reflects alot in your words. your lines flow and rhyme and capture so much wel done bro
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wow
a very fitting tribute to your father..life goes on and all we have is the shared memories of our loved ones..your flow and rhyme are perfect as always...your imagery is amazing..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..ps..see you made it to the next round..told ya..hehe..blessings my friend..namaste..
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