The old man hit the floor,
got up three months later
mouth twisted
weekly therapy visits,
and a nurse maid to feed
and help him
on and off the toilet bowl.
So don’t think heart attack
the Cadillac of death.
Most suffer and are unmercifully
humiliated those last year’s
of their lives.
Waiting for death to end
their miserable existence.
A contest entry
- the suggestion box by grassisgreener.
600 points, ended March 10, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
yes, i love the Bukowski-esque write (he's my favourite poet). i really like the first line
The old man hit the floor,
got up three months later
very good write. keep it up! -
wow conjuring up some bukowski here...i LOVE the lines
So don’t think heart attack
the Cadillac of death
the opening lines actually reminds me for some reason of stephen crane. i like the sound of the words twisted and visit in close conjunction. this is really great, thanks for entering! -
A chillingly honest poem--and you're right, there's nothing remotely romantic about death.
I really don't understand why more people don't respond to your work--guess they must prefer fantasy to truth.
Good work,
Bill
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