I’ve crossed many canyons
where hope, clinging to my hair,
slipped and fell to
the sand stormed bottom.
I’ve climbed countless mountains
that my hands have been cold
for many, many months.
But at the top, faith lost grip
of my back.
I’ve walked along the railroads
where faces once had thrived,
and there love left my pocket
squashed like a worthless coin.
I’ve hitchhiked through Europe
and seen my slew of all kinds of people
but one with a look of vengeance
robbed me of my romance.
I’ve swam in all seven seas
to look at my dancing reflection,
there my own lost eyes
harpooned my happiness.
Oh, its been a long, long journey
over the roadblocks and tundra,
but luckily you were there to collect
when I misplaced a fragment of myself.
And when I come home,
I'll find them all sitting on my bed.
Author notes
Titles Are Us Piece #1.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Excellent
What where your pen goes is amazing at times. This was fantastic. Best of luck in the contest.
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WONDERFUL!!!
So often we travel searching only to find there is indeed no place like home.
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this is my ALL TIME favorite by you... WOW WOW WOW... i love each image you took and those last two lines are incredible!!!! i love the WHOLE thing! yep.. i'm like joyce...
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Ryan, You took this title around the world on your journey and brought all the pieces home through your words that were filled with such vivid imagery. A brilliant piece of free verse that left me sitting with my mouth agape.
It is absolutely beautiful and I thank you for sharing with all of us. I love the inspiration that this one gave to you. Love and God bless, Joyce 
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OMG...this is just wonderful...you took me on a journey...your life...wonderful....
And isn't it good to come home
Great use of the title
XXJeannette
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Aww
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this is beautiful
you are an amzeing writer
well done -
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Thank-you
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Awww this is lovely. Very beautiful. I loved the vivid words and imagery they created. Slendid write to read first thing in the morning.
God bless
Butterfly
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This is amazing bro.
My fav. of yours.
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Thank-you
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bookmarking
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Whoot
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"I’ve climbed so many mountains
that my hands have been cold
for many, many months.
But at the top, faith lost grip
of my back."
I feel these lines but the word; "many" happened too often for me.
Maybe;
"I've climbed [countless] mountains..."
I loved the visual of your third stanza but question the words [to be]... are they necessary?
Then, in the fourth stanza; "many kinds"
May I suggest;
"and seen my slew of all kinds of people"
"put one with a look of vengeance"
I think you mean [but] as the first word there.
The metaphor in the fifth stanza is GRAND!
Loved the last stanza mixed with the last two lines.
This is a poem of yearning, and truest love. You have written a universal writ here. Please forgive the critique. Teacher mode is high for me today. LOL An excellent writing, in need of a small bit of editing.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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LOL No problem Renee, I can always use help with grammar as I don't have an eye for it all ! Thanks so much for the read and helpful comment
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