You opened your eyes into a world
that filled you with desire.
Trying to learn about the ways
that seemed to lift you higher.
With eyes wide open,
mind wide shut,
you walked into the game.
Trying to make your fortune,
trying to get your fame.
Smelling smoke from other folks
burning up to win,
you took all that you could take,
and left the rest to them.
Go on, go on, walk across,
across into the the rain.
Turn and burn the the bridges,
Turn and feel the flame.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
With eyes wide open,
mind wide shut,
This is exactly hat I have written once in dutch, a long poem very difficult to translate. Very fun to reed another poem about the same thing.
burning up to win,
Really freeky yoy write of that I write of when I'm in the woods, wandering were you where?? (probably badly written, hope you understand: were where, I dont know)
VErry funny to read something so simular to my own stuff -
-
Just sitting at the computer,
lol...thats where i write, but yeah it is freeky that we had the same thoughts, thanks for the comments
-
-
wow i like this one a lot it has a fluent flow
Smelling smoke from other folks
burning up to win,
you took all that you could take,
and left the rest to them.
i really like these lines.the whole thing is great
-
It's GOOD
I think this poem is REALLY good. i like it, it's deep and...... cool. i like it. write another one. i want to read more.
Adding your comment:
