Hit p a u s e
and watch the world around you.
Delicate fields of flowers: wafting their beauty in the wind
blackened soil, wherest their roots do dig, deeply sinned
but, upturned petals, unfolded blossom to the morning sky
halted flap: of butterfly wings, bold elegance; not so shy
The deep humming buzz of honeybees so absent in their wake
as they sit upon the bed of a solemn flower; reaching for their sake
tiny bits of pollen, hanging in the morning air
sacks of bright orange: gathered morning labor, to their lair
Above the frozen flowers, another world you see
birds in half flown flight plans, wings spread so free
beautiful blue jays, with their tuxedos of royal blue
searching for the next meal, for his family of two
Overhead: and far superior is the beautiful hawk
piercing golden eyes, watching over his land, for an easy stalk
locked on target: the field mouse, unexpecting prey
dull brown, silent fur, sniffing at the differentiating seed buffet
press
l
a
y
and cock your head in the other direction:
and take a long hard
o
o
k
Monstrous buildings of black and gray: litter the land
thick, industrial smoke stacks are the new eras' stand
billowing toxic deadly gases, putrid black smoke in our lungs
government laws, regulations just but burn our tongues
Devilish haze lingering on our skies, hiding our mothering sun
vehicles running on precious earth gold; what have we done?
automobiles; puking out death into our city blocks
smothering even the weeds growing between the cracks in the sidewalks
Below your feet: littering the ground, from ignorant hands
useless items: plastic bags, cigarettes, and mashed up cans
when will humanity learn, we cannot live this way?
to late to reverse this irreversible cycle has begun today.
Author notes
I know this isn't what you are looking for. But, I really do have a strong outlook when it comes to the earth.
Prompt:
Hit. pause.
In a list
A contest entry
- One imagination and 8 fingers required by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
300 points, ended February 27, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Wrong World Turned Worse by MusicMattnessLives.
475 points, ended June 10, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest here.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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wow thanks for entering. this is intense. we are destroying a beautiful world. however, know that since the beginning of time this world has been fucked up. best of luck and good write.
~MRH~ -
What a unique style! I love the two totally different views separated by the 'press play' Your imagery is phenomenal and I often write with rhyming couplets, so that is a favorite form. This is so deserving of it's silver! but it should have been gold, in my opinion. The first place winner must have been unworldly awesome. I share your views on the earth and how precious resources are and how wasteful humankind can be. You are wonderfully expressive!
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Interesting form, I liked it Congrats on the silver and I'm glad I read some new work today
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Very good, love your thoughtful input...thanks for your entry and good luck
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I really liked this, enjoyed what you did with the prompt, enjoyed how freely you expressed you opinions, and of course, your rhyming was on point. Great job!!
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this is what i was hoping to find tonight; someone with some problem with society. especially someone around my age.
i agree, by the way, that we take the planet for granted. a lot of people can't fathom how LARGE a planet actually is therefor cant fathom how easy it is to fuck one up.
as for the beauty of nature as comparison to man's cities, nicely done. you have talent.
-palbearer-
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love it
I love this, the way the earth is so beautiful and yet human metal is so ugly and cold. (at the moment i'm supposed to be writing an essay on global warming for history)
your "press p l a y" and "take a long hard l o o k" were very unusual but they worked really well
a favorite. -
I love this comparison between the nature elements that makes the earth a place of unmistakable beauty and how man has completely disregarded it and created their own vision of beauty with roots in materialism and greed. Great write!
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Wow Wow Wow....
I loved it... you've been very observant... I take my hat off to you for being so considered towards our planet... I liked the parallel compression of nature and its destruction.... beautifully words poured out straight from heart...
Good luck in the contest....
mina
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A brilliant piece with sophisticated vocabulary and rhyme. The only criticism I would have, and this is me reaching a bit, is your ending rhyme. It "way" and "today" seems trivial in comparison to your other couplets like "wind" and sinned or "prey" and "buffet." I love it, and the use of the prompt is clever and original. Well done!
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Considered. Thanks
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I like the way you can envision your words as you read them. And how the scenes flow so well with the coming and going. Nice work!
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this is amazing and so well thought of. it is unique and describes alot of issues that we should consider. its amazing well done
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