Feelings drift in soundless sighs
to troll the river bed’s deep trough,
beneath the windless rill’s dark calm
until awareness triggers off
fleet parades of thought and sound
that run through shoots of tailored gems,
to sift still water’s murky depths
and latch upon strong fertile stems.
The tapped source of enlightenment
a pure spring of discovery,
refreshes minds to deal anew
with fine renewed recovery.
Whilst in the silent depths there grows
an energy that keenly tunes
the notes that play the sweetest song
from inspiration’s rich lagoon.
A contest entry
- Still Water by NurseChilly.
1750 points, ended March 18, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You didn't read the rules properly
for which I don't have many, but one being is to left align your work..........
I do like this piece and I feel with a few small tweaks and paring down a little... it could be really strong.......
many thanks for entering this contest
G.x
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Beautiful
I always have loved rhyming poetry. This as an excellent and smooth example. Good luck in the contest.
Jim
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A lovely poem
This piece is like a breath of fresh air after being to long in the smog ridden city. Refreshing poem intelligently written and over flowing with meaning.
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You remind us that still waters are not inactive or stagnant, but a nurturing cocoon for the microbes that will become fragments of thoughts. Thank you for a lyric picture of a hidden mental process.
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good luck with the contest good assonance/alliteration in the opening stanza very good closing stanza good title A VERY STRONG WRITE thanks for sharing with us the 'ripples' regards zaj
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Beautiful. The words you used were beyond just the typical vocabulary in a poem, which I think gave it an extra punch. "The notes that play the sweetest song" Genius! What a cute line. You have penned a great poem!
Always~
Miley
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