One cold winters day
in the middle of spring,
when the birds couldn't fly
and the bees didn't sting.
The seas and the rivers
are filled to the brim,
but the frogs couldn't jump
and the fish didn't swim.
All the fields were bare
the skies almost dark,
cows couldn't give milk
and the dogs didn't bark.
All the water polluted
the air getting thin,
they just couldn't accept
that mankind didn't win.
People were dying
everything was gone,
and they still couldn't realise
what they had done.
This was my dream
of the end of the earth,
and the species that didn't
realise it's worth.
A contest entry
- Dreams! by StarIlluminated.
700 points, ended April 5, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The End Of The World by abyssalchainsaw.
330 points, ended May 16, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dreams by Candyknife.
850 points, ended July 13, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The End of the World...in 2012 ???What do you believe Big Points PW, ANY FORM Enter XXX times by echo-ink.
800 points, ended March 11, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE END by frozenblackpetals.
550 points, ended May 11, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How will the world end. by happy kitty kat.
520 points, ended September 19, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want everything you've got!!!! by i vomit sunshine.
600 points, ended November 12, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Snap out of it... this is no dream!!! Great... epic tale of human folly. The effects of which require that one awaken from their slumber to recognize lest this nightmare surely come true.
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awsome!
very very cool. i loved this poem it was very cool. ur a def finalist and congrats
im sure youll win something shiny....
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............ wow.........
like, this totally packed a punch, a verbal slap to all the people who treat our beautiful planet badly. and it TOATLLY just captured the essence of the end.
GREAT, thanks for entering!! XD
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Evidently ...
there was nothing left but Republicans?
Clever. Thanks for entering.
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"All the water polluted
the air getting thin,
they just couldn't accept
that mankind didn't win.
People were dying
everything was gone,
and they still couldn't realise
what they had done."
I loved those lines! Wonderful piece
Thanks for entering! -
Wow...
This so wonderful, the rhyme the flow were perfect and it really makes you think. You have dreams with meaning and I am so happy that you decided to hsrae this with us.
It isn't often that a person realises just how much we take for granted but if you sit and think about it there ae so many things that we do..
well done
-Dustin-
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I like the use of nature, and the idea of the 'cold winter's day' being in the 'middle of spring', a contrast highlighting the sorrow and death in what should be a happy time of rebirth.
Good luck in the contest
xx -
A lesson in rhyme
This is so well written, even with the rhyme that I can't help but be impressed. I like the way the story unfolds and the last fours lines... what a statement to make. Thank you for entering and good luck! -
Reality
Human beings do not realize that we are wasting something very good. We are that good thing. If we die off we will all be forgotten in the history of the universe. We are just a blip on the map in the cosmic time. Good luck -
Excellent
In my mind, A sad but determined voice described for me the end of th earth and what humanity had done to it, while an apocolyptic scene was painted for me when I read this.Just the kind of the thing i wanted to see in this contest. -
Excellent write here
I have such dreams myself and once I dreamed that the eath had been mined so that it left the crust like carboard and then it rained and I was trying to hang on when I woke up .I wonder at times just how how much truth is in some dreams
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Excellent Poem
Congratulations on writing a very clever poem.It leads the reader down a path of wondering what catastrophy has transpired to cause all this unusual behaviour.
A very expressive idea,to convey to every one what a dangerous path we are treading and the concequences if we dont take heed.A dream now.Reality tomorrow?
Take care, Moon Shadow
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This is amazing!!!! The rhyming all flowed wonderfully and it made lots of sense too. And you clearly described your dream, which is what I'm looking for. Great work and Good Luck!
Illuminated *KT*
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Great poem. It flows nicely and tells a powerful story.
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A very enlightened point of view. Simple but it says so much. The last 2 stanzas are powerful.
Thanks for your entry. Best of luck in the contest
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This was fantastic, a dramatic poem done like a child's verse, really, really wonderful
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it is true what they say you dont miss a thing until its gone i thought this was a great way of sending the message dont take things for granted apreciate what you have we never do know what tomorow brings
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This is not spoken word. I do love this poem but Im going to have to DQ you. But plz by all means do try again
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Wow... This is so well done it sticks to my mind.
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Apocolyptic
Very nice job. I work in the environmental field and have seen first hand the effects of pollution. I do not share the views of many that it is not fixable, but I dont believe enough attention is paid to working things out.
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:)
a very unique perspective on pollution. I like it. ^^ nice work
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very good
this is an awesome poem -
This is a great poem. What was your inspiration for writing this?
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This is a very sweet write with a lovely message, a nice way to interpret the contest requirements. I have to say I'm not a fan of end-line rhyme as I find it often interferes with the message of the poem - such a lot is sacrificed in order to fit the rhyme scheme. Still, this was a nice write, thanks for entering.
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A very good message is expressed here. Beautiful poem. Good luck in that contest. Keep Writting!
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