Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Melody Nocturnal

 http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs12/300W/i/2006/286/b/b/Demyx__The_Nocturne_Melodious__by_pen_gwyn.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wrapped inside Mother's arms,

I am coaxed back to her void.

The walls have shattered

to glass prisms and

mirrored in thirds.

 

Sitar strings have snapped,

curling like wires around

the coat's leather folds.

 She cradles every

inch of me.

 

Liquidfied touches brush

through blonde strands;

capsuling the fibers

and tears once

spilled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Picture (c) pen-gwyn @ deviantART

Written while listening to "Room of Angel" by Akira Yamaoka and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Rowan gold member
    March 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very moving. Congratulations!


  • NurseChilly gold member
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do like your poem, however I do not like huge author notes explaining the poem, I feel it detracts from the piece and if your piece cannot explain itself on its own merits then you need to look at it again.........

    a thought would be to take your author notes away and see how the poem stands on its own... see if it still can hold water - pardon the pun...

    I think with a few tweaks, it could....

    anyways... many thanks for entering this contest

    G.x


    • N e a r
      March 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment on my piece. I've taken out the AN and will see how it holds.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    February 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The rules stated for the pieces to be aligned to the left.

1 - 7 of 7