Fractured shadows of hope
divide the sun into rays of doubt
and leave a fragile heart unknowing
beneath clouds of uncertainty
which follow above without fail
though these clouds hover over
and ironically you feel you're alone
your unsure heart may rest in knowing
that wherever the sunshine left dissected
I was there in the distant rainbow of silence
and you were never truly alone.
Author notes
Prompt: Sunshine Left Dissected
A contest entry
- Sunshine Left Dissected by .
750 points, ended March 10, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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This was amazing. Strong words coupled with potent emotions really pulled this piece together. Well done!
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...you certainly deserved these.
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This is such a very poignant piece of thought... Something hopeful amongst the sullen void life can often bring. An amazing write! Thank you for your entry!
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Glad you liked it, I sort of wrote this poem about self-discovery. However, truth be known, I was feeling a little guilty for not being online in a while and keeping in touch with anybody, and this poem was sort of a response to that also...
until immolation,
Grimoire
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Beautiful use of the prompt! I really like your last line. " I was there in the distant rainbow of silence and you were never truly alone." Very fitting. Thanks for sharing.
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beautiful images that offer hope, when one's perception only seems to see despair.
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wow the imageyr in this piece says and describes so much.your words powerful and amazing well done and best of luck
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I love the imagery in this one.
Great work here and thanks a lot
for sharing it with us all. Keep
up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
This is a beautiful write from the prompt.
The rhythm is great and you have a unique way of setting it out.
Best of luck in the contest.
- Jojo x sinnocence -
This has a deep feeling of love and spirituality in it. We are never alone when we keep Him by our side and a true love is always by your side through everything. I like how you presented this and it was filled with imagery. A wonderful piece for Todays Poem. Good luck in the contest and keep writing poet. seamaiden ♥
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Wow... This is very interesting... I loved the imagery and the flow to it... I think you did a great job... wonderful write
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unique title of the poem. ^_~
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very nice and a good flow in this one. the end is great i love it
"I was there in the distant rainbow of silence
and you were never truly alone"
Perfect
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Very nice. I am sure you are an inspiration to those around you. Best of luck in the contest.
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Wow, this is interesting, and the image is beautiful. Its so full of support and care. good luck on the contest -eleno
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Hmmm... very interesting. Good luck in the contest.
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Interesting
I clicked on the poem to read a poem about a person. Wherein fact the poem is more of a journey. Was that your intention? Were you trying to create something different than what was expected? -
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Actually, the poem is about self-discovery. Sometimes it seems that a black cloud follows, relentlessly, over me. Of course, because I am a recovering addict, I tend to love to play in heavy thunderstorms (while holding a golf club in the air and daring the lightning to play too).
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This is beautiful. To know that you will never feel alone is a gift...I like how this made me feel after I was done reading it. Very uplifting and positive, with heart warming waves throughout..thanks for sharing
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Wonderful! I love the title, a reminder of that sad little guy on the Flintstones with the bad luck cloud always over his head... wowzee wowzee woo woo.
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Liked the form you took with these lines, the last line - distant rainbow of silence. Unusual title as well.
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youre alone should be you're alone.
I understand the analogy you're trying to reach here. But this is no 'Footsteps'
You need to make the metaphor more clear. -
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Thank you for the typo. I edited it and fixed it. As for the poem itself I do not know what 'Footsteps' you are talking about is. This poem is actually about self-discovery, there is no great metaphor beyond what is. Of course, there are always multiple interpretations, and ambiguity should play a part in everything. Just as comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. What you see isn't always what you get, understand?
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great write. I like how you personify emotions as nature, also a very uncertian and changing thing. This poem reminds me of a poem my Husband wrote to me. The end lines that is. Great write.
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