We lay down on the hood of his car
listening to the crickets chirp
and counting stars,
holding wishes on our tounges while
pretty 1920's music
sends us away
to yesteryear.
We discussed
a time of
rummaging through mommy's perals
and putting on daddy's suit and tie;
I was a regular beauty
and you?
You were so debonair and charming.
Childhood sweethearts.
Almost as sweet as
ice cold lemonade
out on the front porch
as the summer sun laughs in our faces,
expelling heat to prove that
the sky's her domain
and the moon?
should know his place.
We went swimming in that secret secluded spot
shedding our undergarments with
a restless innocence
I made you turn around...
no peaking.
and as soon as I
shed my "second skin"
I rushed past to jump
into the cool waters
of a vintage sunday.
Author notes
sorry if the title doesn't make much since...and i hope you didn't mind me using the contest title in my poem.....hope it's what you're looking for.
SpinalKisses
Format Re-edited. Background changed, dragonflies remind me of summer.....the last line used in the poem is also the name of the contest title "vintage sunday." and is credited to x.noir.atonement.x
A contest entry
- vintage sunday by adsaige.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Those words could move a mountain, baby [Favourites.] by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1000 points, ended June 8, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
pour your souls out to me
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Some beautiful old fashioned romance and memories, so beautiful.
I never have listened to 1920s music, but I bet it's rather relaxing. -
beautiful absolutely. i remember reading this poem and it stuck in my mind. definitely finalist matteral. i like the title though. i definitely think re-formating and changing the background will flatter this more, and make it a more appealing write.
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very nice I felt as though I was going on this trip wioth you in the begining of the poem nice write.
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very sweet and touching poem. honestly, the title was fine, and unless stated otherwise in my rules, you may use the contest title, please credit it to me though.
i think this could be edited a bit, seeing as the tenses change, and the format or the background does not flatter such a lovely piece.
thank you for entering the contest and goodluck. -
This is really wonderful. The imagery is just fantastic and I love that. This is such a sweet write and it reminds me of being a kid. Amazing write that I adore.
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