Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Higher Than the Stars: the first kiss

Our love came silent

as an innocent summer zephyr

that bathed us

 

in soft, warm sensations

exciting curious minds

that smiled

 

with anticipation, and

lemonade breath

beckoned as

 

the radio played

“Summer’s almost gone”

by the 'Doors'

 

a first kiss made us as high

as the stars we slowly counted

in each others arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

"This experience is real, drawn from a deep place in my lucid mind."

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • tara wilson gold member
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well, I am happy I found this one in adrie's list...

    this is so beautiful Micheal - i don't know how I missed this one..maybe it was from before I added you to my faves.

    I love every stanza, especially the first kiss making you as high as the stars you counted in each others arms...so lovely; a wonderful first kiss mood


  • Daizee silver member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can hear the slamming of screen doors and the flicker of fireflies. Thanks for reminding me.

    With affection,
    Daizee

  • Judith Chandler
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love your choice of music. Those were romantic times and they seem like the good old days now. I'm wondering if that first romance lead to anything further.

    Like the lemonade breath too.


  • daviscth silver member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful romantic memory!!! Good luck in the contest, this is a winner for sure.


  • creationsfromheart
    May 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a wonderfully romantic write good luck int he contest!


  • Randomly Beautiful
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely great writing. I enjoyed the moment you caught so perfectly with your words. Best wishes in the contest. God bless you.


  • Layne
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "made us as high as the stars
    that we slowly counted
    in each others arms"

    -now this was a piece that left me going ((((SIGH))))))-- so lovely this is, oh that first kiss is always so blissful, I loved this piece, nice job

    -Layne


  • adsaige
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ah, i'm a hopeless romantic. yes, i would
    love to  be inspired to go to those days with
    mi abuelos y amor to share such a sensual

    and yet innocent experience that you have

    written about.

     

     

    the author's notes made me smile,

    as my first kiss...well, the only way

    i could tell you would be to write it

    in a poetic form, but nonetheless,

    it was special. it was mine.

     

    on the eve of a crisp autumn day;

    beneath a willow tree and beside the

    gentle breathing of mi abuelos lake;

    our lips met in a soft press of flesh -

    we understood my shy movements.

    okay, i've rambled enough. thank you

    for your entry and best of luck.

    finainalist list

    format:10/10

    grammar:10/10

    imagery:10/10

    impact:10/10

    revelance:10/10

    +perfect score of 50/50+

     


  • SandraMVeinot
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sounds like a romantic, playing with time.
    Thank you for the read this morning here in Canada.

  • Bel Ange silver member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    real experience are teh best ones bacaus you feel them wit so much more intensity. teh mind is a great tool wehn used to its full potential and you hav used it well to write this poem. you mind is a better tool wehn you have teh capacity in you heart to feel these thing there as well as in you mind together you heart and mind make these experiences so much better
    well written, good luck in you chosen contest.

    bel ange
    jan ♥


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    To be held in her lover's arms as they count the stars, slowly, for eternity, and share the sweet bliss of their togetherness, sealed with a kiss...I think that would be every woman's dream; it certainly is something I dream of. Your words are so soft and tender, whispering across the page in a sigh of contentment. May it always be this way for you, my dear.




  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like an innocent love, first felt... lovely! Be nice to relive those kind of days!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beautiful and so dreamy to read, makes me want to just float away love always Josie


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And you've simply said it all... Beautifully majestic and I love the 'lemonade breath' imagery... x Wonderful!!! Best wishes to you in this contest... x Blessings, Lavender Butterfly.


  • Dalaney gold member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so soft and romantic...i can't sleep, but i think when i finally do close my eyes, this poem will play like a lullaby. love, lane

1 - 15 of 15