February 22, 2009
7:58 am A fine day at Laquinta Jr. High School. Peewee Jarvis came in. He’s always good for a new booger. He left a real lunger this time, drippy and all. Really added some character to my facade today…
8:14am Billy Withers looked at Jarvis’s new booger and threw up. Touché! I may set a new record today…
8:25am Jake E. Long and Betty Bustum headed for the stall to make-out and feel-up. Where’s Mr. Crotchet when he’s needed? Mr. Crotchet, hanky-panky in stall one!
9:05am Jimmy Dunglegerb came in to pee. He really gives me the willies. I don’t like his stare. I think he’s going to steal a booger one of these days. I cringe to think what he'll do with it. He licks his lips…
10:15am Class break. The crowd arrived. The usual bathroom bullying, showing-off and smoking by the young hoods. You’d think that they’d be the source of my boogers, but no, they’re actually squeamish… my main source are the nerds… with the jocks close behind…
12:00pm Counted 13 different colors on the wall today, a new record.
12:05pm Little Bobby Finch just barfed looking at me… all over his new penny loafers and school coat-of-arms sweater…
2:13pm The old janitor arrived and gave me a disgusted look. Some day he’s going to clean me…
3:30pm End of the day. Everyone rushing to leave. Billy Bob got his peter stuck in his zipper. What a yelp! I could see his uvula…
6:15pm Three basketball players came in with Susie the cheerleader. As soon as the girl saw me, she bolted. The boys just looked at each other, perplexed, picking their noses and scratching their butt cracks…
10:32pm The janitor came in again. I could see him heaving at the thought of encountering me…
February 23, 2009
12:00am Midnight. Eerie. My main fear? The Boogie Man, of course. He must be mean and ornery. They say he comes out of the utility closet. I shudder to think of him, and close my eyes…
5:30am I inspect myself in the mirror, preparing for another day. Greasy smears. Check. Black hangers. Check. Green goblins. Check. Red bloodsnookers. Check. I think I am ready to conquer the world…
7:50am My worst nightmare beyond my most horrible imaginable dream came true today- I was grossed-out by a booger. Mr. Beebles, the science teacher of all people… just something about how soft and gooey it was... and the way he slowly analyzed it, rolling it between his bony fingers until it became sticky and dried-up... urp... I believe my school lunch is coming up... Chop Suey Macaroni Goulash...
Adding your comment:
this is grotesquely funny and a little disturbing..lol. A wall dedicated to boogies, and these kids are our future...an awesome piece had me in fits anyway...
a whole wall dedicated to booger masterpieces!!! who knew school bathrooms could
laurie.
