February 21, 2008.

This Winter's night, not so cold, but as harsh as any other.
A son, finds his mother dead on the floor.
A father soon rushes in after.
"Get her on the bed! Get her on the bed"
Bad ribs..."I can't lift her, Josh!"
As I'm standing in awe at the sight of this woman.
A woman I have known my whole life...Dead.
Rushing over, her two sons lift her relaxed body onto the bed.
Enraged, Mike paces around, a look of fury on his face.
Smashing two deep holes in the living room wall...
"Paula! Wake up! Michael, call 911!"
Rushing to the phone, thoroughly lost, he dials the number.
"Josh, you've got to do CPR! I don't know how!"
"I... I don't know how to either..."
Nonetheless, I kneel by this womans side...
Staring into her pale zombie-like face.
It looks as if her skin is melting off her waxen face...
Liquids...oozing from her nose... who knows what...
This can't be happening...
'I can't...I have to do this...for her.' I think to myself
Expecting her to show signs of the undead...
For her to rise slowly up, grunt, and do who knows what.
I slowly lower myself to her level
Holding her nose, I open her rigid jaw...struggling to keep it open
Blowing with all my might, with all the air my lungs can muster...
"Push!"
After what seems like hours...
"I...She's dead..."
What a gruesome sight...Her blank eyes stare off into nothing...
Into death... 'I now know how death looks.'
In comes her hysteric son...
"mom..." Rushing over beside her
As I stand back...thoroughly out of it...observing this sad moment.
In a frenzy of panic Mike rapidly pushes upon her chest
Sending all the air he has into her lungs
In a lip lock of life and death...Mainly death...
"Josh go call 911, again!" says the incredulous husband.
"huh? Mike did alread -- ok" I say snapping back into reality.
"Hello, yes she's dead, hurry up!"
"You think she's dead? What's the address" Says a dumb ass operator.
"Yes! 820 Charles st. hurry!"
"Ok we're sending someone now"
"They said they're sending someone now" I yell back to Mr. Rocchio.
Impatiently pacing the house... awaiting the arrival of the ambulance.
Meeting in the pantry...My best friend and I...
"why does this have to happen to me" says a panic, sorrowful...Helpless Mike.
"Idk..." I say, the only words of comfort that come to my head.
United...we stand in silence...with my hand rested upon his shoulder.
Then he paces the length of the room and returns...to my hand on his shoulder.
Sirens...hurrying to the porch we see a lone firetruck
Making its way down the street.
"Why the fuck did they send a firetruck?!" Of course...
They arrive at the door, after a leisurely walk up the stairs...
Directed towards the room they take her off the bed and rest her on the floor.
We stay out the way...taking again to pacing around the house.
Seeking refuge in a room we have not yet found...
A chill strikes through my whole body...
Like a sudden cold front makes it's way into my body...
My blood, my insides... everything. Such a piercing cold
Putting on my coat, to no avail. I shiver ever more.
I pull the table out of the way to make an easier exit for them...
Hurriedly I slam my finger between the table and the refrigerator.
"I think I broke my finger" But I feel nothing.
As they roll her out in some wheel chair contraption...
'real professional' I think. Her head slinking to the side delicately.
Still looking as spooky as ever... she's wheeled out.
Never to be seen again.
In utter disbelief I wander off towards Mike's room, alone.
On the way I gaze into the room where it all happened
Recounted the events that took place in here... That I'll never forget
Then proceed into Mike's room. I pace back and fourth from wall to wall
Attempting to overcome my rage. Resisting the urge to tear everything apart
"please overcome this rage...please"
"I can't believe this is happening"
"I can't take this anymore!" I think to myself. A thread away from rampaging.
Finally, some sort of refuge... Accidentally I think of Emily...
Emelia... I wish you were here right now... So bad... I need you.
In that moment I realize how immeasurably I love her...
"I could have thought of anything...anybody in this moment"
"But I thought of you...ah... I love you so much!"
I suppress my longing tears...No...I can't cry now. 
Now, leaning against a black desk...I realize...
My mom will die someday.... "NO" What will I do then...
Images of my mom, prematurely dead flood my brain...
Tears stream the lining my eyes. Again I suppress them, almost letting go.
I then walk slowly out of the room. This hollow feeling ruling my body.
A silence....pressing in against our bodies, from all angles.
Still cold, I sit on the space heater.
In a daze remembering all those years of her being there...
Treading the line between reality and my consuming thoughts
After about 15 minutes...
"aah! My ass!" I finally realize that I was sitting on a heater...
Walking back into Mike's room with his dad...
He is on the phone, with his sister.
"Nicole mommy is dead...come over here I need you here!"
It was the first time in my 13 years of knowing him did I see him break down like this...
Watching him and his father embrace... Still, I couldn't cry... Suppressing more tears...
Realizing we're watching him cry, Mike stands and leaves the room.
I stand and pace the room again as Mr. Rocchio calls more family.
Hardly paying attention I can't understand what he's saying.
Leaving the room, I sit in the living room where Mike lays face down.
Stretched out on the couch, all I can do is look at him.
After everyone is settled Mike and his father leave to the hospital.
I walk slowly home, hardly realizing where I'm going, what I'm doing.
Once I enter my room, a surge of tears exploded from my eyes...
Disproportionate to their size...I wept...Like never before
Unable to hold them back I lost myself in thought.
Drowned myself in tears. Deafened myself blowing my nose.
That night was a still and sleepless one. As I lie in the dark...
The image of her face haunting me through the night.
Tossing and turning... Afraid to close my eyes.
Yet I'm also afraid to keep them open...
The night is gone...with her soul.
"I can't be afraid, I have to stay strong" I encourage myself.
Glancing at the clock blazing on my TV. I close my eyes.
It's 5:30 AM... I finally fall asleep....