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Sightless night unfolding
scents of summer flowers
exchange places with burdensome day

and melody and rhythm
cross dwindling lights
as the candle within flickers
in imagination towards rest

I let thoughts
reach to voice of a bending wind,
wood knew kinder moments with rushing strings
birds gave more to rising sun

but voice has never stirred more than
this moment gives in a simple
arcing plea

stay this way ...with me.


Author notes

Prompt: "Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress
and kiss, kiss"

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • scentedrose
    March 1

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    I think that this is quite nicely written. Could use improvement in some places but isn't that the case with all of us.
    Nicely done.

  • Leslie gold member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    oh the third stanza is so beautiful so moving, I felt it as I was reading it, I'm a strong believe that the first and the last line are important elements to create and develop what you are trying to say, and I couldn't think of better lines to finish this that those that you wrote, they are just beautiful compliment to this heartfelt piece, so soft.

    Leslie


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    As always, PK, you find a way to touch the heart.

    This phrasing is my fav:

    I let thoughts
    reach to voice of a bending wind,
    wood knew kinder moments with rushing strings

    Gorgeous stuff!

    I love the quietness of this piece and the gentle yearning of the end. Beautifully done!

    Congrats on the silver--much deserved!


  • Everwind Rising
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. Your phrasing is unique and I love the way you word your thougts. There is a lovely softness here punctuated by a tangible longing

  • MariGoes gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and melodic verses.
    Nothing like music and scent of summer to take away all the worries of a bad day.
    Lovely poem


  • poet2angels silver member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I could copy and paste this entire poem....It is so beautiful...I do so love the ending

    "but voice has never stirred more than
    this moment gives in a simple
    arcing plea

    stay this way ...with me."

    Your poems are always sigh worthy~

    big sighs~

    Lynda


  • ardentMarch gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    this is sooooo beautiful..


  • secberm
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    Excellently done, my friend. One.

    Dez

1 - 8 of 8