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Smile, Smile, Smile! ☺☼

"I wanna Smile!" ☺
"You're not supposed to smile, that's the rules."
"But I WANT to smile!"
"You heard me. You're not supposed to smile!"
"As I said, I wanna smile!"
"This is a dark place. No smiling!"
"I'm gonna smile, whether you like it or not."
"Head, the one that loves to smile wants to smile real, real big!"
"NO! You know that you're not supposed to smile, and you're not going to smile!"
"I already made my desision. I'm going to smile! It'll bring happiness here. And I want to be happy!"
"This is a place where you are supposed to be unhappy! You know that!"
"I really, really wanna be happy!"
"NO! No happiness is coming here. No way!"
"I'm now going to smile! Here it is: ☺ "
"Hey, I'm suddenly happy! Everybody smile, now!"
"We're not supposed to smile."
"Smile, now!"
"Okay. ☺ "
And then everybody was happy!

Author notes

I LOVE TO SMILE! ☺

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 18, 2008

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    Sweet right, very sunshiny. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • longlife
    June 19, 2008

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    WOW I'M PERKED UP!

    This is kinda
    cheezy At first I started singing it as a little happy song in my head. It's pretty intristing .


  • omg-its-sara
    February 23, 2008

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    This poem made me smile!

    I really liked the lines-
    "Smile, Now!"
    "Okay."

    That was really creative. It is axactly how everyone should be!


  • bird at rose
    February 23, 2008

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    U (lol I) like the story you have made up here which went more with your title than the background

    Oh my grin that I got from this!

    Love how you started out with such a suddeness over not being allowed to be free in light-- "I wanna Smile!" ☺
    You're not supposed to smile, that's the rules." You're so sincere to step up and look beyond that because it's crazy to have to be sad! Therefore, your title is perfect for explaining this poem. I also thought it was creative when you spoke of the physical "head" that "wants to smile real, real big!"

    The tenth line is such a stand of reverse of when you said you're gonna, they (whoever) put it down that you're "not going to smile", and then you have already made it, and can't take it back. Isn't it wonderful when cheerfulness can result from one person trying to be that way themselves? I am so glad that your simple debating character didn't fall into flat out darkness even how many times this other person in the story tried to 'force' it upon you.

    Thank you for making this! Ahhh, you merrily made a surprise in the ending, "Smile, now!"
    Okay. ☺
    And then everybody was happy!" that settles us in for the last thing to read as a nice instant. Interesting when you put it that they have to smile, and so they did as a break-off from their guidelines to yours that could be seen logically.

    One minor suggestion you can consider, is for such a long poem some may feel it would read better if you seperate this out into two or three stanzas, wherever it's natural for a break.

    Hope you don't lose these precious feelings in this amusing piece,
    Daisy


  • StickyNote5
    February 23, 2008

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    This poem was okay i guess. It didntreally have the format of a poem and i sort of got lost. But i loved the message you are trying to express


  • Sle3p
    February 22, 2008

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    Awesome!!

    Great,though i never really read such happy poetry i really liked this great job!! I liked it that it said "This is a dark place. No smiling!" Funny great...keep up all the good work!!!


    Fluffy

1 - 6 of 6