I know which way is the way that's right
Yet I follow the opposite in the dead of night
Foolishly following the shadows that lead
The ones that lead to a deadly deed
The shadows whisper things that delight the ear
Yet are far enough away so I must follow to hear
Never knowing they are leading me to my fate
For my shadows know my death to the date
They start going faster making me run
Never knowing my life nearly done
Now in the distance I see a gleam
Even though it is Death unbeknown to me
I run too fast and I trip and fall
The shadows laugh like they are having a ball
This fall however for now has saved my life
For now I see the gleam is a waiting knife
Then I start to turn away
Out of the trance I see the day
The shadows see this and go into a rage
Then they go in trap me in a cage
I know it is too late but still I fight
I fight something not seen in the night
We have a very terrible tussle
Then I realize all the trouble
Now my eyes are closing and I am starting to fade
But now I can see then sun of a new day
My life is ebbing away in a steady flow
And Death is waiting with me to go.
In a list
A contest entry
- They love the taste of Blood by lie.
300 points, ended February 25, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Painful Desires by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1000 points, ended March 6, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spill Out Your Heart by KeepingTime.
375 points, ended March 14, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your favorite poem that has no trophies by whispernthedark.
490 points, ended April 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems Please by Violet Moodswing.
875 points, ended June 29, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Sometimes it is difficult to run away from trouble. I think your poem is easy to relate to.
Thanks for your entry -
Great Stuff!!
Could almost hear a heart beating steadily faster as I read...
Great descriptive narrative, rhyme, rhythm & flow...
A great write you have here...
Well done!!!
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Thank you for sharing your favorite with me, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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wow this is really good,
the only thing i would say is wrong is the rhymeing scheme kinda disappears at the end but apart from that its preety good,
good luck in the contest,
much love vamp xxx -
"This far however for know has saved my life" <--- what?
I don't like the rhyme scheme - it's too forced and simple.
I think you could have gone into a little more depth, as well. -
kool,reminds me of the last time i got stabbed up
i love yor poem u rite tite rymes
wut u feel makes us two of a kind
it the darkest alure in the dead of tha nite
that sways both our souls from doin
wuts rite
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Welcome to All Poetry
A good piece! I love your first three stanzas as the flow and rhyme is excellent in them. The others began to feel a bit choppy, but overall it's a good pome
Keep writing, reading and commenting.
If you need any helo here at AP please don't hesitate to contact myself or any other online Greeter. We are always willing to help
Gaylene
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love it.. you are great at poetry gage! you should write one for carly! long the detail of it!
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