Can a cave in a sheltered knoll,
Be a place where one can be,
Alone at times when clamour calls,
A cosy nest for you and me?
Will the calls of tiny birds
Amidst the noise of life be heard?
The softest drops of summer rain,
A beat to drive away the pain?
Oh how we yearn for Eden now!
A tiny slice of heavens plan.
Enough sate the wounded heart,
To be, as was, when all began.
© Andrew Swain 2007
Author notes
This was written at a time when I was insecure, moving a lot and just wanting to have a place where I could finally find rest.It is one of my earlier attempts at writing, having been encouraged by my partner.
In a list
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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tar* This poem is so lovely written I enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. So fresh and unique. I can relate although I feel I haven't found the right place in my mind yet. Your poem was truly inspirational.
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Take care and thanks for sharing *hugs*
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Profound
At times I wish for that cave of mine and wonder about the outside world at the same time, but for that measure of escape, that peace ... bliss.
Fine job
Thank you.
. Rewarded 4
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wonderful
There's bits of Eden strewn through the world, depending on how it is you see what is here. I've always wanted to live in a cave a bit apart from everything, something romantic about that idea... being within closer reach to the things I love. -
Ok I honestly could really know exactly how u feel i have been there and was recently there who knows if i will have real place to call my own i would love that. this poem was so great and it hit home for me.
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Excellent
A very fine write. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Reminds me of a couple I wrote on the same subject: One is called "The Homeless" and the other I believe I titled: Homelessness. Here are a couple of links for you: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3292530
and http://allpoetry.com/poem/2203078
Again, very well done on your part.
. Rewarded 4
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TThe softest drops of summer rain,
A beat to drive away the pain?'
I think these are immensely beautiful lines.
Your imagery is superb, language tangible and ideas enticing.
Homelessness usually provides one with the realisation about beauties and comforts that home has. While away from home, you are closer to it in feeling. Your poem captues that spirit.
Rahi
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Bravo!
This is very emotional and beautiful. Its deep, flows well, and rhymes good. I have been there, moving a lot, sometimes not knowing if I had a place to go, and sometimes not having a place to go. Ive lived on the streets and in shelters.. And all I ever wanted was a place to call home.. I had a very unfortunate incident in my life that caused me to run from everyone and everything I got close to because I was scared, and then after that I was running because of people who continued to hurt me. Not everyone is lucky enough to find that place, fortunately I believe that I have found mine, and I hope with all hope that you have found yours. This is a wonderful piece. Bravo!
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you. Its always good to get feedback on an older write, and much appreciated. This is one of my personal favourites from when I started writing.
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interesting write
I dare say at times we do hope for Eden or just a garden of love shared by those and their god. I will say sometning that seems to be missing today. will penned poet & I loved the rhyme
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A big thank you.
Thank you for that, this is the first time that I have had the confidence to go public with my writing, and yours is my first feedback.
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