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Day at the river.

Day at the river.






Trees swagger in breeze
water plays over rapids,
snake crosses quickly.

Author notes

Haiku

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • peridotPixi
    March 3, 2008

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    cool

    i wasn't especting a snake at first so its kinda a twisted ending, i like how you added that, it puts more depth into the poem


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      March 3, 2008
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      Thank you so much...the snake is my fav bit...they used to swin across the river right in front of us when I was younger etc..me & my sis would freeze and stay silent till it passed then go about our fun again lol


  • ukelova
    February 27, 2008

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    packed

    hello there Cindy!

    Good to see you writing haiku. I see that you tried to pack in as much information as possible into this tight little 17 syllable poem. You've almost written us a novel here, LOL!

    There is so much movement in your haiku - amazing! even the trees are walking about.

    Quite an incredible picture you have painted for your readers.

    have an awesome day, sis,
    BJ.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    February 24, 2008

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    This is such a wonderful haiku. You have done so well here and the imagery is lovely. I could picture the scene in my mind so well. Great work.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    February 24, 2008
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    Ohhh yes. Such a great haiku.. I can't do them at all... you nailed it sis!


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      February 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      This was my first attempt Sis, lol but thanks makes me feel very good about it


      Cindy


  • Lady Australis silver member
    February 22, 2008
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    pretty sissy
    i love you


  • LadyDementia gold member
    February 22, 2008

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    Wow not a word wasted! A beautiful piece, rich with lovely imagery. Very well penned


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      February 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much...I am so honoured for great comments conisdering this is my first attempt at a haiku lol
      Much appreciated



      Cindy


  • poppa
    February 22, 2008

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    Wonderful Cin.....a lovely haiku...great contrast from the first two lines with the third.....love it


    Rob


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So, is this like a haiku then? Because it's brilliant dear!

1 - 15 of 15