Things lost

I lost things as time has gone by, a natural thing that happens. I never thought I could lose my heart and the feeling it had. I hadn’t noticed till I looked deep in my eyes.

My eyes are different. They no longer look the same. For there was a time when they shined and had a beautiful color to them. Now they just sit. With no real emotion, yet there is so much built up.

Where do I go from here. I don’t know. What happened I can’t explain it. How mind doesn’t react like it used to. I used to believe in fairy tails and love but now those are unfamiliar thoughts I used to have.

I can’t change things or situations that have happened. I learned from a friend I can only control my reaction. I used to look in the mirror and loved the girl I saw. For she was beautiful, with angelic eyes and a playful sense of being. Now I hate the girl that sits before me, for she is weak with black wings and sad eyes. Nothing reminds me of the girl I used to know.

And what a shame for she was someone I loved be. She cried not cause she was weak but because she had emotion, now I sit not moving but restless. Uncontrollable thoughts I have of leaving and surrendering to a place unknown. But she waits somewhere inside me just hoping that one day ill come back and see what is so blindly in front of me. She waits for me to take her back and live my life like I once did. I only hope she waits cause I don’t know how long ill be away. Slowly she’s leaving though, I feel it. How can I expect her to wait for me when I don’t know how long it will take for me to find her hand and hold on tightly to it?