rust envelopes
fractured fenders;
bent bodies
in farmer's fields
[dented].
absent of touch.
Author notes
Don't you want to hug it?
Image by seashellsk at deviantart.com
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie - 13 words - 10 poets - 15 minutes by Naridill.
415 points, ended February 21, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i just want to be touched! lol. ah i feel for that poor car. this is so deep and great. congrats on another gold =)
i should call you goldie locks, muhahaha =P
take care! -
LOL, this is fun and different while mixing memories too!
Your title is very amusing, and I wanted to click right away. Wow, your descriptions are very tight and true, like your first line is such a way to think of it... especially like a literal bug that can fit in there, but this is explaining small age left. I also enjoy how you put in brackets, "dented" for a clearer understanding of the car being curved from previous shininess, smoothness. "absent of touch" gives a thought that it's lacking being used because it's still around but idol. And, so if you think of it as if it had feelings, you'd feel bad for it and want to hug it. A good personification by that it's seen through observation. We aren't supposed to beat up our cars anyway.
All of my congratulations to you on this gorgeous piece that is deserved gold all the way!
~agilejill~ -
great - well deserving of the trophy - all homage to the icon!
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Wow I think you captured that picture insanely perfectly and creatively.
Congrads on the Gold!
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It is a huggable little thing, isn't it?
You have done it justice!
Congrats on gold!
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Congrats to you!
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Something I thought of after I posted
Very cute and amusing but definitely sad.
Thanks for entering,
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OOPS!
Forgot to applaud. Sowee!
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nice one!
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I LOVE THOSE BUGS! Nice Job!
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BLUE PUNCH BUGGY NO RETURNS NO PUNCHBACKS!
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Poor neglected bug. awww
Nicely done.
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Nice! I love it!!
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*cough-FIELDS-cough*
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