She’s undergoing change, so fragile and new,
she has a bright future to look forward to.
She’s almost afraid to break out of the cocoon
but she knows she will have no choice soon.
She’s quiet for the most part, and a little shy
She looks at the moon and tries not to cry
In her little nest, knowing it’s not forever
Not ready to fly off to wherever.
But yet she feels strong, in her own little world
nice and warm, safely curled
until the day she's ready to go
her fear behind her ages ago.
I'm feeling so different, transformation complete.
I'm still a bit scared to try and stand on my feet,
but much too soon will come the day
I spread my wings and fly away.
Author notes
Okay, so it's still three years until I move out. But you catch my drift.
I have poetic grace.
Comment openly, even if to criticize.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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perfect!
i tried to write a haiku about how a chrysilis is beauty in a thought (because, as Sixx a.m. once said, life is beautiful), and i couldn't get it. you nailed it!!!!! -
Amazing
i loved it; full of emotion and Mariah. wonderfully satisfying (oooooh, thastsounds dirty).
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i really like this. after i read it i went "huh..." and thought about it. i like that. i like when poems make me reflect. great job. the end was my favorite.
thank you for entering it! -
lovely images and great rhyme. I think in the first stanza, it could use a change. My idea is this:
"She’s undergoing change, so fragile and new,
she has a bright future to look forward to.
She’s almost afraid to leave the cocoon
she knows she will have no choice soon."
Thank you for your entry.
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This is such a wonderful write. You have completely captured the whole experience of getting ready to be on your own. It's absolutely terrifying but at the same time it's really exciting. Great write. I loved it!!!
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bravo
Oops! I see now that I have already, earlier, commented upon this fine poem!! A very lovely and highly poetic poem about the dream/fear of the moment--indeed, if there is one single moment!--of "Coming of Age". very well done all around! bravo... bravo... bravo... -
Wonderful
Wow I loved the flow and rhyme you put into this. Wonderful write.
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Ohh...that's such a beautiful poem. Love the rhymes and how everything flows so well. Great, great job! Btw, one little mistake in the 11th line...it's "until" you wrote it "unil"
However, beautiful poem.
Keep writing
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"I'm feeling so different, transformation complete.
I'm still a bit scared to try and stand on my feet,
but much too soon will come the day
I spread my wings and fly away."
Such a lovely poem!
We all have to leave the cocoon sooner or later. Change can be scary, but it can also lead to incredible adventures! So when the time is right, spread your wings beautiful butterfly, take flight ... and enjoy the view!
Love and hugs, Grandma Jan♥
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Wonderfull!
This is really great! You really used perfect wording to connect a teenage girl to a butterfly!! (I'm not gonna move out for a while either, but I feel the same way going to a new school!)
Keep it up!
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oh this is absolutely lovely, such a sense of growing self awareness and the uncertainty of approaching adulthood. You capture the feelings perfectly and present them so positively.
'she's quiet for the most part, and a little shy
she looks at the moon and tries not to cry'
beautiful!
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nice
time to fly.......
It can be quite painful for the pupa to change into the butterfly......take your time......enjoy the now..
Well written and good timing...I enjoyed our time together...
Simon -
Welcome to the world indeed, we all of us have the need to be loved and comforted, at times just fated, but we sit still here breath is bated.
Wise words indeed flow from your pen. -
Very thoughtful and it really touches on those tentative emotions of being " not quite ready, " but almost there.........I think you did an amzing job with this piece!
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Wow, I really like this-it sums up beautifully something that most people feel in their life. It's such a beautiful immage...Good job!
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wow....this was a really really good write!
I love it,...the imagery is beautiful, it tells a perfect story of a butterfly going through metamorphasis, and at the same time of a teenager getting ready to leave home...great work!
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I really like this! You captured all the emotions of this butterfly. I (and probably every other person) have felt this way in the past and recently.
Awesome write, awesome metaphor, awesome rhyme...awesome everything! :-)
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bravo
Oh, this so very lovely and, indeed, very deftly done in every respect! LOved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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all butterfly's need to spread their wings and fly eventually good strong rhyme scheme too many 'SHE's? yes/no? thanks for sharing regards zaj
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Beautiful butterfly, I can't wait to see you spread your beautiful wings to fly, that will be a sight for all to see. There is no limit to where you will go. Get ready, world, here she comes!
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