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forgotten

like a memory in a darkened and cobwebbed place
he's huddled in a small discrete corner hiding from his fear
and he is slowly dying from the hunger and disease
slowly rotting him away

and all the while he's cold and alone
of his image he's pale,scrawny,and blue
this will be his last dawn

in his heart there is no hope
his mind is lost and decayed over years
he wants to be saved,
but no one will show
that kind of bravery with out fear

Author notes

kay-lynn thomas

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Luciferschild
    January 31

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    i thought the poem was written very well and i liked the last line. thank you for entering and good luck


  • Erozay
    January 29
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it


  • Devilish Temptation
    August 3, 2008
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    wow is one word to but it your piece blew me away


  • XHollowXEyesX
    May 15, 2008

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    I really like this write. It is short, but packed full of emotion and despritive language. I love how you didnt go into depth about his fear or why he feels this why, leaves a mystery for the reader.
    awesome.
    All the best
    Hollow Eyes


  • ikeiloveyou
    May 7, 2008

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    i liked it..it wasnt really really long but i like that.it was really well written! i love this kind of poems


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    April 18, 2008

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    Although very difficult to read I did manage to read it very well written.
    But I could find no where you marked which Trophey you enterrd it for


  • Logans-Mommy
    April 9, 2008
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    cant read it without highlighting it, you should fix that.


  • Re-invention silver member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful write my love thanks for posting it here in the group.... love the simple way you've described the end of a man... good write!


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    March 23, 2008

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    This was somewhat hard for me to read. Though what I got was wonderfully written and I do appreciate your entering my contest. Thanks.


  • Alive Again
    March 21, 2008
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    i love this good luck


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Some feel this way at some time or other in their lifetime - sentiments well expressed in these lines - remember apostrophe in he's all the way through this poem. Looks and read better that way, I think. Keep writing.

  • Harbinger of Death
    February 29, 2008

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    this poem touches the heart of those who have ever been alone, for a bit or for a while. thank you for entering my contest

  • know one
    February 28, 2008

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    intresting

    I like it but I couldent relate it to anything
    keep writting I think with a little work this poem would be outstanding


  • Logans-Mommy
    February 23, 2008
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    confusing, who is it about??


    • lil lette
      February 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      idk its just some thing that popped into my head... read the other one 2 its called forever alone


  • a234567891911121314
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it kinda sounds like me a little while ago

1 - 16 of 16