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Untouched gold


Her eyes flicker, still
Cast up.
Bound in bone, they circle
Untouched glittering gold
Of a lost, divine past.

Somewhere, lost in iridescent memory
Those lidded lenses whip down old roads.

Faded deep and low into valleys of yore,
Then high, to sing aloud and sashay
Backwards to yesterday.





A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Meroza
    March 31

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    A very interesting poem, I like how you've played with the words in this one.

    Good luck


  • Gypsie Ink
    February 25, 2008

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    Wonderful

    "to sing aloud and sashay
    Backwards to yesterday."

    Can we all just sashay? lol Best of luck in the contest.


  • tarcus
    February 22, 2008

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    Somewhere, lost in iridescent memory
    Those lidded lenses whip down old roads.
    A beautiful descriptive phrase conjoured up.
    Dreaming of a better time indeed.
    Are we all not guilty of it most days.


  • Rubix
    February 22, 2008

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    smart

    excellent vocab, I have but a vague clue of context of what sashay means! haha time to look up such a word
    I've always been a fan of short and concise... I get to bored sometimes with long poems if they don't capture my attention from the beginning.... this undeniably kept my attention, yet not from its length... It was the art of it, and cultured writing talent...


  • Ayven
    February 21, 2008

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    The image that this paints is very vivid and most intiguing. And the vocabulary used here is great! I really like the flow of the last coupole of lines. They just really fit.

    The subtle rhyme that intertwines in the lines adds a great feel. The depth of the poem is incredible and the simple beauty of how each word fit into each line makes his a very beautiful poem.


  • Tarja
    February 21, 2008

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    Even with the word limit you managed to pull something off that I was not expecting. Your word choice and depth really hit the spot and you expressed such passion and beauty. Fabulous job and good luck in the contest. This is so well written and thought out, between me and you, you're a winner.

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 21, 2008

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    good job very good title good 1st line very good last line good luck w contest thanks for sharing regards zaj


  • frownsnfreckles
    February 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    an interesting take on the word bank, I liked the line
    'Somewhere, lost in iridescent memory'

1 - 8 of 8