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Fake Smile

While you sit there, With that fake smile
Did you ever think it was all worth while

You say that i am worthless

How could you do that to me?
Make me feel as if thats all i can ever be
Thats evil, Sadistic, Flat out wrong

You say that i am nothing?

How could you do that to me?
So next time your there

Remember i care

This is a poem i wrote when i was really depressed......

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  • Commodore Rouge
    February 21, 2008

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    Hmmm, yeah, this does sound kinda sad and regretful. One thing I noticed is that it felt like there could have been better word choice, like this "That's evil, Sadistic, flat out wrong" that's good. "Sadistic" is a great word, I wanna see more of that kind of stuff. You've conveyed your message clearly, but you could enforce it with more might should you revise for word choice. I think I like the last line a lot, yeah, I do like it a lot because it reminds me of someone running away with their lover left behind calling "remember I care!". That's just how I see it.