It's 3:00 am as I walk the city streets
a time when the ugliness of what we do not wish to see
no longer hides in the shadows of day light,
for life is hard and bitter for the night people
some sell their souls
for a moment of delusional reality,
drowning memories of what once was in bottle and pills
hoping for relief to come in death and lost past,
cardboard homes built like children's play
hold few belongings, discarded by the day people,
and filth crawls through them,
like roaches in slum apartments on the East-side of nowhere,
alley restaurants, haven of luxury in throw away,
found in garbage of the more fortunate
yesterdays bulimia of waste feeds survival
for another day in the half eaten lunch of fat cat society,
babies cry from cold and hunger
as a mother sells herself, only commodity she has left
to find forgiveness in a needle and a spoon
extinguishing their cries from her bleeding ears,
And the infection of despair and self loathing
spreads to every street corner in the dim city lights
which fade from the eye as the sunrises on the happy shiny people
who walk with blinders on in the sun,
for they can not look,
will not look,
lest they may see a reflection of themselves
and asphyxiate on their own vomit,
yet I look,
I always look,
as I walk the city streets at 3:00 am
in a world not forgotten to me
and I beg for mercy and forgiveness on our souls.
Author notes
mystic
~Silver~, ~Silver~
~Gold~ Empathic Rose contest
~Gold~ http://allpoetry.com/contest/2407705
~bronze~ http://allpoetry.com/contest/2404431
mystic
In a list
A contest entry
- Big points...just write what you want by Canis Lupus.
4500 points, ended July 30, 91 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 97 of 97
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Thank you for writing and entering this contest,
Jeff.
EDIT: By the way, lovely flow and I got a chill while reading. Your imagery is lovely and the poem truly speaks wonders and makes the reader picture many things. Great job!
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Thank You 4 Entering our Contest Project Un-Cliche
hello there I am a judge for the contest mentioned above and I like this write from you. it has a subtle hint of good flowedness and well good style and fluidity through out. any ways just really love the over all quality to your piece as you really let yourself flow. any ways a very nice take over all and keep up the good work good luck in the contest -
This is amazing. I am astonished with your ease to write successful free verse poetry about society. That is something I am constantly battling with. I love how you related the first stanza and the last stanza, with a whole bunch of detailed, wonderous analasys of society at 3:00am.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
I don't even know what to say, honestly.
"yesterdays bulimia of waste feeds survival"
That line stuck out to me the most.
This piece is amazing.
Thank you for entering and good luck, ♥
-Rainbow. -
good job on this I loved it thanks for entering
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I love this line:
yesterdays bulimia of waste feeds survival
so powerful. Yes, I have stopped to think about the amount of food we throw away each day, and how many people it would feed. You are really onto something here. Your images are powerful, stark, like the background colors you have chosen. This is a very powerful piece, and I think it will stay with me long after this contest has closed for judging. The silver trophy was well-deserved. You earned it. Good luck and thanks for entering my contest. -
This is awesome!! Congrats on your silver cup sweetie.
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One:
Thank you for actually following the rules.
Secondly,
I'm so glad I have someone who writes poetry that doesn't end up having me remove his/hers entry
I really do like this;
it's fantastic.
Thank you for entering and good luck! :]
♥
~Princess of Shadows~ -
Oh. This is quite some poem that you have going on in here. It sounds like you have seen a lot on your early morning walks through the city and the people that live there. It is sad that life has to be so hard for some and so easy for others. I try to help but people have to be willing to help themselves too. I thought you did a good job of expressing what you saw.
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This is good stuff. You brought the situation to life. I was there, walking with you. Truly worthy of many gold trophies. Extremely well written piece you have here. Your last lines sum up how I feel every day. Not just for my own soul; but us all. I loved the read.
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I am surprised to find someone who knows the life of the underworld so well. I like this poem because of the way you have captured the despair that cloaks us all.
. Rewarded 4
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Except the starting or begining lines.. this poem was marvallous ,, indeed the great beauty,, you have done such a wonderful work and movie work in it tht i can't even tell in words.. but really i loved this one alot ,, and its making my mind to read your other work as well..
by
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
. Rewarded 6
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wow. nice. there are really just no words to describe it.
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takes me there
I've seen these things up close and personel. and you have bought them back to my memory with this extraordinary piece. I thank you . you have a gift -
'alley restaurants, haven of luxury in throw away,
found in garbage of the more fortunate
yesterdays bulimia of waste feeds survival
for another day in the half eaten lunch of fat cat society,'
It's hard to find a good write that reflects strong social comment, a realistic window view and enough lack of sentiment to project a strong and meaningful statement. You have done an exceptional job with this write, painted clearly in black and white tones within the grey areas they inhabit. I chose aa particular stanza but all are equally powerful images and the final stanza is particularly effective for it's very personal quality, that makes no excuses. Well done! -
What a gentle spirit...that has wrote such commpassion for her fellow man or woman.
Sad that this is true but you have captured the picture in a soft but powerful verse.
Excellent!
Lifetime
. Rewarded 4
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Amazing....People do seem to forget those who are suffering by being caught up in their own pretentious lives. The truth that very few people pay attention to. Thiis poem amazed me. I'm glad you entered and I wish you the very best.
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This poem is purely inspiritional and in being so it reached out and grabbed my attention.
I love the truth that it tells, and the picture
it painted in my mind.
Thank you so much for sharing this piece.
Keep up the great work -
Congrats on making it into the finalists list, this means i read on further than the first four lines of your poem. Thanks for entering =] xx
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i don't think this could be more realistic. it's true that people avert their gaze and probably don't even realize the homeless scare them because roles could easily be reversed. misfortune doesn't care who it strikes or how often.
solid write
thanks for entering and good luck
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Wow,
I read you crystal clear here sweet soul, we do need mercy, and I would be glad to point out my fav metaphor in a stanzas you have penned here my friend, but each one was so well expressed, and get the point across that you're making perfectly. You really put things in perspective, and how we all need to do just that. And here I thought once upon a time, the world revolved around love.. That's the way I wish, it's money, so I'm shit out of luck.. I'm glad I've met a few, very few, that can appreciate a good heart. Much love and light, Timothy
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Deep and intense, with some great imagery through out. You've done an excellent job bringing this reality to us. Thank you for entering.
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Very raw and gritty poem, really brings out the truth behind sun-drenched cities, drawing a very definate line between citizens of day and night. Powerful stuff.
Thanks for entering!
*~Huntress~*
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Congrats on your HM...
A wonderful write...
Many blessings
~A~ -
Deeply Profound.
This is very amazing and very profound on the realistic world out there. I believe you have an amazing piece here. Thanks for entering. -
Excellent... i can see that you spent a lot of time and thought in this...
Jack
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Excellent write...
A wonderful read..an amazing soul...
Best wishes with this entry.
Many blessings to you...
~A~ -
Now this is an intense and truthful poem and you do not try to put yourself above these poor souls and properly criticize those who cannot face that this could easily be their reality. good poem!
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Oh my Gosh! This one is fantastic. Truly, your imagery and word choice are astounding. Yours is the last I've read of the original 40 (I just bumped it to 57 to be difficult...) but seriously, this one is awesome. You raise a very important point here, but in such a cool, literary way that it is enjoyable and hard-hitting at the same time. (Sucker us in with your excellent writing style, then bam! Smacked in the jaw by admonition...) Great write, I wouldn't change anything. Best of luck in the contest. --Shannon
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Thank you so much for sharing your favorite poem with me. Best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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Very Good
A vivid vision of what the life of a prostitute really
is like, a little cynical but also very true and highly
descriptive, in my view a very good poem Indeed.
I have written one on the same subject called "Ladies Of THE Night"
.See if you like it. George(JUDMC) U.K.
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Well, it flows softly upon nightly shadow, showing a place where few see. Great write.
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Wow... I love this! It is an amazing, perfectly written piece. Thank you for sharing. I do, however, request you add your author's name to your author's notes. Thank you. ^.^
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babies cry from cold and hunger
as a mother sells herself, only commodity she has left
to find forgiveness in a needle and a spoon
extinguishing their cries from her bleeding ears,
This was the line that really made me go awww so sad but such is the world where we live! Its a sham though!! I love the depiction and the strong imagery that u potray! U play with words and phrases in a very beautiful manner! I am very impressed with this write!
Thanks!
luv n peace
pri
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Very strong, conscientious and insightful. Not preachy either, which can often be something very hard not to do when it comes to such strong, emotive subject matters. Far to often we forget about such things and it takes beautiful words like these to remind us.
Great write and congrats on gold.
. Rewarded 6
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Congratulations sweetheart on your GOLD!
Love,
Mouser -
Good take on an unpopular subject, I think those who read this will take a look next time, and hey, maybe give a little.
nice job.
. Rewarded 4
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u r a finalists in my contest.
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great.
I loved the first line, because it didn't bore me. I was actually anxious to go on and read the poem. Wonderful job, you have a great talent and I am going to read more of your poetry. Keep up the awesome work. I also liked the 31, and 32 line when you restated the beginning. It is a very well- structered and neat peice.
. Rewarded 6
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WOW YOUR AMAZING!!!!!
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Raw and gritty, so many strong lines each one better than the last. It's hard to think about, so many out there, so many. This certainly has my vote.
. Rewarded 4
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it is life maybe not yours maybe not mine but it is someones life sad but true to remind us these things happen in our world of today and your words just bring it home very touched almost seen the cats nibling in the bins
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I love this. It's amazing.
<3 Add me if you want. I've also read some of your other work, so I'm deff. going to favorite you, if that's okay. :]
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Darkness falls like footsteps upon the heart and soul.
This is a profound piece with shards of realities proding the reader to go exactly where you want them to.
Bravo!
Marianne
. Rewarded 4
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That was...amazing!
This is one of the best poems i have ever read on this site. It's so true, so cold, that it shows the true evil in the world. Definitely amazing!!!
. Rewarded 4
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This is quite a dark poem that you have written here, with some sharp edges cutting inside the skin of society actually
I like that actually
Very well done!
Leander -
I love how you made me watch the scenes play out. As I read it, I seemed to be looking out of a window. Very powerful imagery. Good Luck!
Much Love -
Pretty Good
Tastful, themessage is prtaited very honestly.
Your words really bring on a heavy feeling that creates an abstract.
It;s hard to do that,
well done.
. Rewarded 4
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Very beautiful.
I felt like I was there walking beside you.
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bleak, sad, raw, and disturbing. very well written
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Vividly bleak, raw and disturbing, so very real, too.
Darkly inspired writing!
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This poem is just amazing! There is so much truth in it, and you put it all there well.
Wonderful write.
Good luck in the contest.
. Rewarded 4
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Excellent write... best wishes with this entry...
Peace and many blessings
~A~
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Impressive...
You've managed to do it yet again! You've created the ultimate portrayal of an alternate reality of life in the shadows of doom... Again, I wish you the best of luck in these contests!! I know you have a winner here!!! Peace, Cyn
. Rewarded 6
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the inversion of a paradox by a genius
I found it amazing how you describe the craziness of a perverted system by juxtaposing the lives of havers and non-havers, of people who have to build their homes from the waste the rich leave behind with the rich themselves. You appear not to be strange to both levels of society which adds to the colour and liveliness of the scene. In addition, I liked that you criticize the circumstance, not the persons all of which have to beg, not everyone for money though but also for "forgiveness". So in a way, your poem paints a fine picture of the helplessness on both sides of the abyss. This conveys quite a harmonic understanding of the human mind because there are neither evildoers nor victims, respectively all of them are caught in a structure that forces them into their role. A last plus, the language is expertly fluent and the poem genially constructed with a smashing last line that pulls your feet off the ground. Please excuse my English, I'm German.
. Rewarded 8
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wow. This poem is so eloquently written. The vocabulary ranges from the unique to the breathtaking. Your words paint an image that many people would not want to even read about. Perhaps this is because they would feel guilty or depressed. All I know is that I am glad I read it from beggining to end, for it is a truely masterful write.
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Well, my dear, again you have written a side of society I worked with for many years. Your graphic descriptions are too accurate, and only one who has been there, or has worked with the homeless, can see the truth of these words. I once walked those streets, finding homeless women, and practically dragging them back to the shelter. Now that center has an outreach program to help those, willing to get out of this lifeless life! Blessings and love from your "other" sis
Shana
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WOW
what exactly do i write here that you havnt already penned?
this is a very dark and sadly trueful look at the underside of life, the bits most people try to ignrore, choose to forget.
i'm at a loss for the brilliance of this piece,
absolutly fantastic!
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Powerful Reality
SIS............
your pen has grown remarkably scince I have been gone...First I must say that the Spiritual hour starts at 3:00 A.M...You delved into true reality and painted the horror of others that suffer from the existence of night (or should I say darkness)
Life continues onward for some that never even take the time to see what God is showing to us all,and throught your words of truth...The reality is known to all who actually understand...The demons of life that bring good people into captivity from the taskmaster torment chambers,has no mercy on anyone...including the children...Keep that revelation of lifes battles and prisons flowing and we might see freedom for them through all who pray from the reveal of truth...
Love the piece
Blessings sis
and good luck in your contests...
As this is Gold for sure in my book
~CherylAnn~
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Good
So many people are caught up in thier busy greed driven lives to stop and look around at what is happening to others in the world, in the very streets of the cities they build. This is well written and you have portrayed the not-so-nice nightlife in most if not all cities. Thank you for this piece.
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OH MY...
this is incredible!!! the detail and imagery in this piece made me just sink down into my chair... it is so true... everyone is afraid to look or to get their hands 'dirty' to help. it is sickening how people are so happy to live in their life of luxury without even giving a second thought of those who would appreciate just one hot meal a day...
i really don't know what to say... it is well written, pulls me into the scene you have developed and makes me want to do more than my family already does...
REALLY GOOD!
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Excellant
A very fine write indeed on a subject many would simply chose to ignore. Reminds me of my poem: "The Homeless" -
this was an awesome poem it has really deep word and is feeled with alot of emotions i love you
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This poem took me right back to the time I spent in Oslo during my teen years... I love this piece, and the way you use your words is very refreshing. Cheers to a good write, I hope to see more soon.
-Liv
. Rewarded 4
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I definitely love this poem, it's filled with emotion. I like this part:
some sell their souls
for a moment of delusional reality,
drowning memories of what once was in bottle and pills
hoping for relief to come in death and lost past,
This is very good. Well done!
. Rewarded 6
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Outstanding
I saw only one problem with this peice.
It ended!
You know it's good when it comes to life in your mind.
I could almost feel the roaches clinging to me.
. Rewarded 4
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Amazing. Very beautiful. Your amazing talent came shining through in this piece.
love
broken -
Images of a world that has passed on a change to become what it once had the potential to become. Today the memories of those visions are discarded as unrealistic desires which meaning has been lessened by what prevented magnificent dreams from coming to be. It reflects the sad state of a world that man built both by choice and at gun point. Still it is better to be at the wrong end of the gun instead of having the finger on the trigger. The good news amid the avalanche of dread is that our plane has just a transient place in linear time. We may not have given our dreams a good place to live, but dreams never die. Thank you for creating and sharing this great and true poem. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Take care,
Chris
. Rewarded 8
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You made me have images in my head throughout the poem. and damn your writing is strong. know what you meant though. sad. -eleno
. Rewarded 4
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very good strong write great ending your day begins at 3 am huh? good opening line best of wishes in this contest thanks for sharing regards zaj
. Rewarded 4
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Strongly expressed stuff here. I admire your peristence with the contests and hope you eventually succeed.
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stark realism eloquently expressed
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ingenious
I saw my style I like to portray in yours... seems you've had personal experience with this.... as I came to similar depths in life, not quite this though... the passion of it is undeniable....its convincing enough, friend of bill perhaps? -
Such a sad heart filled write. rying out for those with to open their eyes and just recognize the plight of those without. In todays times we should be more giving than we are. Powerful message delivered in this. May we all be forgiven our poor eyesight.
Best to you in the contests, lady love.
Love,
Mouser
Sun and stars shine no brighter than you!
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Amazing Words
I always look,
as I walk the city streets at 3:00 am
in a world not forgotten to me
and I beg for mercy and forgiveness on our souls.
How can you walk at 3 am
and from where do you draw this knowledge
This is very explisit and true
I say amazing for the power of the words alone
for the 118 time in 13,343 comments... wow
. Rewarded 6
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Wow..you took me along for the ride. As a country gal. I could see those dark streets..caused a shiver.
. Rewarded 4
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