My wisdom gain and so my soul.
Thy fate agreed that love could grow.
Do not water your eyes as you go down
Just make a luck out of frown.
Soul and body indeed a cue
Of how you and I could unstained blue
Lipids of self defies your strength
Beauty of life a hand of three
Beauty of life would solve misery.
On land are great despairs.
How much on sea of great revenge.
What love can bring for self indeed
A power of you for society or for self?
A contest entry
- 21st Contest by Spiritual angel..No PIF.. Picture Prompt...10x10 by spiritualangel.
300 points, ended February 28, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Say What You Need To Say by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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your average score is not enough to qualify for a finalist.
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Title: 4/5- A very ambitious title...
Venting: 35/50- I felt that the fractured nature of this poem worked against its purpose in this contest.
My Personal Like/Dislike: 7/15- You need to work on the flow of this poem, and the picture is very distracting.
Followed Rules: 0/20- older than one month.
Grammer/Spelling: 8/10- there were a few places where I questioned your word choice, as well as word tense.
Total: 54/100
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Title: 4/5- okay
Venting: 45/50- you could of said more
My Personal Like/Dislike: 10/15- Beautiful background
Followed Rules: 0/20- Perfect- date is more then a month ago
Grammer/Spelling: 10/10-
70/100 -
Lipids of self defies your strength
Beauty of life a hand of three
Beauty of life would solve misery.
On land are great despairs.
Beautiful. Best of luck. -
So beautiful here, it's like a messege of destiny, for us, and our life and what we can give
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thanks,. and i shoukd have to,,....
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Great poem although I found it very hard to read.....you should consider changing the background for it, your choice obviously......
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