The blood from the shallow wound momentarily lingers
Until warmly it seeps on, to the tip of a single finger
Dripping in slow motion, moving through desperate space
Landing beautifully on the tile next to her foot
Taking on the shape of you
The steel is so cool against her warm skin again
Entering so smoothly as she breathes deeply in
Brief, exhilarating seconds, she feels nothing
But a gratifying release of intense emotion
Screaming as she closes her eyes
Curling into her body on the cold tile floor
Not even sure if she believes in life, anymore
A slave to this monster much bigger than she
Blinking away the tears no one sees
Your name carved into her body
Author notes
Only inspired by what I imagine. Nothing personal.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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it is amazing and sad but mainly amazing i loved it keep writing im katelynn by the way whats up
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wow, i really agree with auburn sunrise. if this was completely from imagination, thats truly amazing. the intense feelings and the imagery work so well together, that i can imagine this almost flawlessly.
amazing write, thanks for entering! -
Intense!
I loved the ending... succinctly written.
As a person who used to cut (and who attempted suicide), I can assert with confidence that you wrote this with amazing understanding and insight to those incredibly painful and desperate moments.
In fact, if this is completely from imagination (and not one shred of experience) - I have to say your talent is even greater than I expected.
Wonderful write.
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Thank you again
I just wanted to say, I honestly do not have any experience in this or suicide attempts, although I have witnessed my mom attempt suicide a few times. And I'm sorry to hear that you have also been in that place, I hope you are better! When I write stuff like this, I'm trying to understand it and gain empathy in so doing. I believe if I can develop more of an understanding, then I can be more useful if anyone ever needs my help, support, or friendship while going through these things.
I'm a very empathetic person anyway, so I often try to place myself in the situation of another and it really helps to know from someone with experience that I am at least coming to relate in some small way.
♥
I will be reading more of your work!
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I find this absolutley amazing. This is a wonderful write that was very cute indeed.
You know this is a cute love story in a very drawn back way. It's not so obvious unless you read between the lines but that's perfectly fine with me.
It has great rythem. Over all one fantastic write.
"A slave to this monster much bigger than she
Blinking away the tears no one sees
Your name carved into her body"
That i feel sums up the piece in it's whole.
Again, Wonderful job
Thank you for your entry and Good Luck. -
Profound imagery
Good write! Saw a picture of self-mutilation and could "feel" the emotion although I have no experience!
The middle/2nd verse is the best! Good word choice. "deeply in" - like if it's a slow process ... like the imagery in a weird sort of way. This verse's end rhyme sort-of pulls back till she "closes her eyes" - as if the pain 'gathers' and then diminish into "nothing" while "screaming" with "closed eyes".
You are very talented. Keep posting ...
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amazing
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OMG! You have written a horror movie. Thid piece is pretty intense. It has a unique quality of making the reader read it very slowly. Well crafted!
Love,
Amera♥
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I forgot my yellow hands!
nooo!!!
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Hello Again!
I do not think this is that dark. I think it is reality. Also you said yourself it was only inspiried by what you imagine. Which is a good thing
To tell you the truth, I honestly like this piece. It's simple but it captures a piece of moment perfectly. My favorite part I think was this line...
"A slave to this monster much bigger than she"
That whole verse is awesome though. That line gives it a very twisted childish fear...But this is greaatt.
ITS BEEN AWHILE. BUT I FOUND YA.
See things are actually going good for once, and I'm a little nervous about that lol.
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a good dark, sad piece of poetry, good to read it is only a poem inspired by art, but so many will be able to relate to the feelings here you describe.
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much darker then your usual.. I really like it. I dont know if I want to say unfortunately, but this is something I can deeply relate to. Just so much pain and agony, of cutting and sucide and sucidal thoughts.. not wanting anyone to see that pain and see the scars beneath the sleeves.
This is just so powerful .. really you did such a great job.
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This is strong and dark. Vivid images and even greater emotion. I could feel this within my very self. You have taken cutting and suicide by blade to an understanding level for the reader. Amazing how someone can affect our lives so much so that they can take our very life force from us as well. Well done
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