I am happy right here
Amongst my creation
Looking myself circle in the eye
Square to the sky
Mother moon, silvers the night
Colors, black and light
Just like when I first met life
Finally opening to be reborn
To reap the rewards of sullen strife
Circumvent the motion of hand to tongue
Consume pure light and life
Flight for freedom, feelings sung
Looking God right in the eye
Left with love one couldn't deny
Or will loves labor loose...
Ushering in the liar and the master
~static~ Somehow seen as the savior
Loves touch crippled with dusk
Pretty little ribbons wrapping hatred
Tie me in knots and do it again...
if they are the blessed
Hold your breath and count to ten
1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.
Then gather all the good men
Author notes
graphic art by me
just added the #s at the end...what's your take on that? too much?
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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What a lovely piece this is, filled with so much imagery. The emotions are deep and strong. It flowed readily and I didn't falter one bit. I do feel that you could take the numbers out though. The line before stands on its own and we all take that pause as we read. If that makes sense. lol Thank you for sharing this with me and keep writing poet. Wonderful choice for Todays Poem. seamaiden ♥
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Wow. Beautiful art. I really like the counting in this poem. I don't see it very often. Unique. Lovely imagery. Great work.
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wow. well said. thats been done twice tonight; ive been deeply impressed.
oh, and kickass on the graphic.
-palbearer-
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wow this is such a powerful write and so perfectly penned and stunning just wow. i loved it well done
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very powerful,
It was like a inspirational Chant. The rhyme was
perfectly placed. It felt just right from begining to end. Well done.
Delila
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Great imagery! You wrote this very well, I also think that the picture you chose fit this perfectly! Great write. Thanks for sharing.
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A great write of such depth, an inner piece of emotion and sporadic thought woven beautifully! You have been nominated!
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Wow.... I really like the imagery and powerful lines in this one... It really was amazingly powerful, to me...
"Pretty little ribbons wrapping hatred
Tie me in knots and do it again...
if they are the blessed
Hold your breath and count to ten
Then gather all the good men "
Wow... That is so......
You are a genius... at what you do.
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The picture is beautiful and fits in really well with the poem. This is a very well written piece, the lines:
"Loves touch crippled with dusk
Pretty little ribbons wrapping hatred"
stood out to me in particular, wow.
- Jojo x sinnocence -
the poem & artwork go well together. your play with words and the images are well done. you expressed well the joy of freedom but also the fear of reverting back to old patterns. thanks.
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good fit with photo good title good first line very good ending+refrain yes gather all the good men and count to ten good intermittent rhymes thank you for sharing regards zaj
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Wow what a groovy photo!,what an awesome write,keeps the reader focused,has a flow to it,Hazel
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First of that photo you created is cool as hell i like it alot. The poem was abstact and highly orginal, I really like these four line here
"Consume pure light and life
Flight for freedom, feelings sung
Looking God right in the eye
Left with love one couldn't deny"
This right here can be a poem in itself. All in all excellent writing. -
"Looking myself circle in the eye
Square to the sky"
The play on words there is well done indeed and I like the subtle alliterations throughout the piece that add emphasis and keep the reader absorbed. A good write that I enjoyed reading, thanks for sharing. La x
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This is completely abstract and original. Well spoken lines to provoke the mind. For me it feels like a need for realization, or a possibly crossroads lying before oneself. It also holds a dark quality of contemplation as well. Nicely penned!
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This was just simpley great. nothing short of the word. pretty awesome poem. i really can't tell you how much i enjoyed reading this. just in general the flow is great the wording is fantastic. an amazing poem!
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portals are pumping - this is another great write - love the graphic, and the upsidedown images of the first stanza - though that could be the right way up, when there's no real reference point anyway. Tied me in knots and did it again....
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wow, the flow in this is really nice. I just really liked this, especially the first stanza. I liked the inversion of the normal terms and such. This was very cleverly written
great write
-gibson
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