Feeling the heartache
Entombed by the grief
Through today and tomorrow
There is no relief
Why, why why?
Must this go on
I think as I cry
Becoming even more withdrawn
Days becoming nights
Nights becoming terror
Who turned out the lights?
This darkness bearer
Watching their felicity
Deep in terrible regret
Trapped in the simplicity
Forever in this debt
Author notes
Option #1: picture prompt
In a list
A contest entry
- 201st Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended February 20, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite Only Contest [For Nighttime Angel's Favorites Only] by Nighttime angel.
1410 points, ended March 29, 2008, 68 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wow. Very powerful. I especially liked -
"Trapped in the simplicity
Forever in this debt"
Muy excellante!
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Thank you
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My
seems a sad evaluation of the times. hidden and dar secrets maybe. But always the fear, alone and in the dark can overcome any good. Well penned poet.
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Must this go on
I think as I cry
Becoming even more withdrawn
I try my best to thrust myself in to groups of people when I know I'm getting depressed and the storms of life are starting to get to me, and even though I'm around people, I just feel myself withdrawing more and more from people -
very nice work cool rhym and flow and genrally a fine read cheers for sharing
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Thank you for your comment. Your kind words mean a lot to me and are appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem
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I like it, Very well written
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Thank you
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it was a great write, i loved how it flowed perfectly and its rhyme stayed on beat, its an amazing write becouse you just do everything right and stay completely on topic, and not many people can rhyme each line with the other like you have, its a very difficult thing. excellent and amazing job.
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Whoa! loved this! really. amazing right well deserved HM
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wow... I was expecting you to be an emo ass and not know how to write a damn poem but... this is pretty good.
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no way. I hate the little cutters. you don't like your life, do something about it. That's why I cut out emotion, to focus on what needs to be done. I'm glad you thought it was good. Thank you.
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Yeah, I have a friend that use to cut... but I really didnt blame him, his case was pretty shitty, plsu he didnt whine about it to other people and he didnt have an emo dress code like the other cry babies lol
yeah it was really good, I liked it. Most my writes are shit, but most of the ones htat arent are becuase they arent poems, there my spits lol
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this was not very happy was it? i think that there are a lot of metephors and hidden meanings in this. but i liked it a lot.
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this poem paints a scary & very eerie picture. I did see the picture that you wrote this poem for.. I think that you did an outstanding job with the prompt.. there us lots of sadness, and fear through out this write.
thank you for entering & good luck
kat
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This is very good dear good luck with it in my sissies contest
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I liked your poem and the rhyme. And the tone and feel of it. You did good with this one!
David
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Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it
-Steve-
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Excellent use of the prompt and great background! Best of luck in the contest, and thanks for commenting on my write as well.
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Thank you so much and your welcome
-Steve-
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Wow...
I love how you have written this..It displays the picture very well..Good luck!!! -
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Thank you so much
-Steve- -
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Your welcome
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That was great. You really did a fantastic job with the rhyming and the emotion. I think this goes brilliantly with the picture. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it
-Steve-
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