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A Mermaid's Sorrow


In the below, dolphins click and call,
their mournful song resonating
through the realm

and the world turns its way,
sloshing the ocean over the coral palace
where a father once watched his
fish-tailed daughter at play,
but now the old man weeps fresh tears into brine
for dry men have stolen her away.

~

a wish encases itself in a bubble
rising to break beneath a night sky
awash in silver light

~

Beyond the enveloping deep,
she sits alone beside, where the sweep
of outstretched arms can no longer lift her,
and a powerful pulse of tail only stings
as scales flap useless against the ground.
She knows she must split herself in two
and brace her newfound feet against earth,
whose force pulls every part of her down.

slowly, she removes her crown,
stooping to collect shells that sing the sound of home
she now roams a land where sun and wind
will leach the water from her skin,
and salted and ashen she must
beg the man to love her.

~

a wish encases itself in a nutshell
sinking into the darkness to drift in unseen currents
it eventually comes to rest.

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • JustBreathe gold member
    February 22

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    Lovely images! The mermaid leaves her home "in the below [where] dolphins click and call" ... trying to find her place in a new, unfamiliar dry world. A tender and emotional story!

    Favorite lines ..
    "a wish encases itself in a bubble
    rising to break beneath a night sky
    awash in silver light"

    Congrats on the Emerald trophy!


  • Kathryn Bowden
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. I love poems that tell a story and this one tells a heartbreaking one!
  • Virgoan
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    Mallig, I like this poem of yours. The narrative rendition and the strength of each stanza makes me wait for more. The second & third stanzas are my favorites.

    Beautiful write my friend

    Keep on writing.

    HENSLEY


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    February 21

    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations

    Delighted to award you with this HM
    It was such a hard choice but it has to me made
    Your words were beautiful
    hugs Julie

  • Reptile Lady gold member
    February 21
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    A wonderful scene you have painted in your words.
    A great take from the prompt
    The third stanza was truly beautiful
    and thank you for your entry, good luck
    Julie

  • Peteskid gold member
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    fantasy with such telling bites of reality... lessons; classic echoes in the walnut shell... a universe there, a lonely universe...and this is the thought here, a universe of love or searching a universe for love...a very human choice, i think...wonderfful creativity here, excellent poetry...'skid


  • moluv10
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    You've painted such a vivid picture in this great write! I love the imagery. i guess the mermaid never got her man did she? Best of luck in the contest.


  • Midnight-In-Prayer
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is one of the most beautiful pieces you've ever written...it kind of reminds me of the little Mermaid, except in a sad, more depressing sort of way. Well penned.


  • Mirthryl
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed "sloshing the ocean over the coral palace" and "weeps fresh tears into brine." Nice contrast between weightlessness of water and "earth, whose force pulls every part of her down." Lovely "shells that sing the sound of home."
    I don't understand the last stanza; the previous wish (I imagined, her father's) was in a bubble. Is the nut the symbol of a treed land she now roams? Her wish? If a wish for the man's love, why set adrift in unseen currents? Guess my brain's a little waterlogged tonight!


  • secberm
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful tale you wove but I have one question... How long did it take you to learn to walk as a grown woman? Don't lie and say you made this up. I know it's autobiographical! One...

    Dez


  • emerald-gaze silver member
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Simply wonderful!!!
    Even though the end came with a sad tone, the imageries and feelings are still so touching.
    You have an amazing talent to show tenderness with your words.
    Excellent write


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    Hi
    Please can you complete your poem by tomorrow morning
    UK time.
    Many thanks
    Julie
1 - 12 of 12