`
From you I feel
push pins puncturing my undisturbed skin,
and because of that
'I love you more'.
I can hear in my deafness --
the sonata of your billowing voice,
under red skin
of a drying moon.
`
Author notes
Written February 21, 2008
A contest entry
- The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"Under red skin of a dying moon" - what more can I say?
Imagery speaks for itself.
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the red skin of a drying moon! yes, I too love your brevity... I've missed reading you... now I'll just have to; this comment to commence
beautiful
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your poetry is so beautiful...and I love your brevity....you are one of my favorites...your writing is amazing..and I have missed it so much...
this is excellent..
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my undisturb skin sounds a little odd maybe saying undisturbed? i understand the brevity in words but i am one for exploring and expanding i tend to be one of the ones that like more is less rather than less is more
a good piece of poetry.
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Sir, thanks for the help. I agree, the tense gave it a more sound and effect.
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