Externally, the reactions are fluid
Synapses collapse with inward movements
Soothing condolences from glands undiscovered
Just cover the pain derived from another
Excretion of rivers to expose the issue
But dexterity is developed to utilize boxed tissues
Making shopping list complete, ending with chocolates
Salivating through dentals commences with talks of it
Noticing edging on hardwood floors
Unaware of testosterone when slamming doors
Payment for labor delivers you to the teller
Wishing you could tell her the definition of stellar
Endorphins commanding the pain of sharp blotter
When getting inked to pay tribute to Father
Speaking and reading, listening and demanding
Bi-lingual, uni-lateral, omnipotent, and branded.
Author notes
The duality of brain function and thinking for one's self
In a list
A contest entry
- A new language by AaronReed.
450 points, ended March 4, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LETS MAKE A DOUBLE GOLD WINNER FROM YOUR GOLD WINNING POEM by Swan song.
600 points, ended April 12, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
C'est simplement magnifique ...
Je l'aime bien.
Congratulations on the Gold trophy.
Actually, it appears that being bi-lingual is a major advantage for those who do think, although one would never know it in many cases. In your case, however, it's perfectly obvious. -
Excellent...Very creative pen..
Best wishes with this entry...
Many blessings
~A~

-
This is an excellent poem one well worth a good review
-
Great write. I liked the flow to it, it never felt forced at all!
I see you got a gold - congrats!!
Sunny

-
I think ...
that this would look good on my blog. Would you mind if I posted it on the blog sometime this week or next?
http://poetsporch.blogspot.com/
Thanks either way, of course. Good job on the poem.

-
APPLAUD-APPLAUD-APPLAUD
WHAT A RICH FEAST of a poem, and the graphics weren't
bad either!
Cleverly written, we just loved every word, the flow
the rhythums and imagery were OUTSTANDING!
well done poet! well done!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) will contestant number 1 please step forward, we poetess's would like to take a closer look!
poetically of course! really! well maybe!
great job!

-
My favorite two stanzas are the middle two. They have that memory sound smell touch see quality that seems to work very well. I would argue the first and last stanzas are a little bit, not abstract, but use too big of words to grab the concept right. Although, I like the idea of omnipotence, and maybe that is showing how the self views its knowledge as complete, even though we learn all the time. Complete enough to make the decisions it is currently making. Good work.

1 - 7 of 7




