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Neath Down Duvets

[Read author notes before reading poem]


She rested once ‘neath fresh-cleaned down duvets,

Before her life became that living hell.

A victim of a warlock’s lying ways,

She seemed entrapped, transformed by evil spell.

In woods that howl and shriek at midnight’s strike,

Where haunting specters swirl in fiendish mists,

She huddles ‘midst the thorns and prowling shrike,

Beside a path of holes and fatal twists.

She fled the manor house in aimless drift,

‘midst howling of the hounds behind locked doors.

The rapier thrust of sword a gruesome gift,

From apparition’s hand from whence it soars.

At last to hide in fear and thicket’s lure,

While fleeing from the fears that haunt her mind -

Will she, this maid, high born and virgin pure,

When twisted by her world so oft maligned,

Become a nymph of maliced midnight wood?

Who would have dreamed this lovely maiden could?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Who would have dreamed this lovely maiden could

Become a nymph of maliced midnight wood?

When twisted by her world so oft maligned,

Will she, this maid, high-born and virgin pure,

While fleeing from the fears that haunt her mind -

At last to hide in fear and thicket’s lure.

From apparition’s hand from whence it soars,

The rapier thrust of sword a gruesome gift.

‘midst howling of the hounds behind locked doors

She fled the manor house in aimless drift.

Beside a path of holes and fatal twists,

She huddles ‘midst the thorns and prowling shrike,

Where haunting specters swirl in fiendish mists,

In woods that howl and shriek at midnight’s strike.

She seemed entrapped, transformed by evil spell,

A victim of a warlock’s lying ways.

Before her life became that living hell,

She rested once ‘neath fresh-cleaned down duvets.

Author notes

This is an experimental poem I've been working on for a while. I saw a "reverse sonnet" in a book of poetry and wondered if I could write a poem that would read properly and make sense when being read from both top to bottom and bottom to top.

This is the result - hope you enjoy it.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Amera gold member
    March 26

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    I love this and I can see the work that you put into it. You really did make it work as the content is captivatiing both ways.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Nikk
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have been blessed with a beautiful ability to write poetry! i loved your poem, loved the rhyming, loved everything about it!


  • homegrown poet
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    While I think this is a cool idea, I did say that I don't enjoy rhyme very much, and that was true for the rhyme in this poem too. Also, I could not connect with the topic at all. What I'm trying to say is, I'm looking for more emotionally charged poems.


  • Animarising
    February 20, 2008

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    Very clever! I'm very suspicious of poems when you have to read the notes first, it usually means they are awful, but this works well. I'm not quite sure what the point of it is, but as an exercise in something or other, it's great!


  • suseann
    February 20, 2008

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    Started backwards reading uphill,and you know what? WOW! You have indeed composed a beautiful reversed Sonnet piece in this! Wonderful emotive and descriptive piece.I've never left after reading you unimpressed.


  • Arrianna MacEwan
    February 20, 2008

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    LOVE IT!!!!! I could never write one of these reverse works that you master so flawlessly! I love the background too. The whole thing is devilishly dark and dreary. I love it


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is certainly not an easy task, but you have met this head on. Takes some doing, and you have done it very well. Certainly creative, for sure, and shows your poetic skill. Well done.


  • Epiphany Angel
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    I've seen this done only a few times in books, and I once tried to accomplish this task and failed miserably! You, however, have done a wonderful job creating a reverse sonnet. Keep experimenting with this technique. I think you can really get somewhere with it. It takes more patience that I possess.
    ~Bee


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    February 20, 2008

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    APPLAUD-APPLAUD-APPLAUD

    Now..THAT! was cleverly done!
    Truly amazing too, i haven't read this before, and yet
    I've noticed that their are some poems that I have
    read that I saw could be read in this format too!
    I really enjoyed this....what a challenge to do!
    WELL DONE POET! WELL DONE!


  • tortured-heart
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like that...its really fresh and original...i also really liked your language choice...its really...like old and it makes the poem seem really timeless
    peace, love, & cheese

  • avendesora
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is a really cool idea. I love how the poem changes depending on which way you read it. i think i liked the one reading from bottom to top the best. kudos to you for this idea. i really enjoyed it.


  • Gypsie Ink
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Captivating

    I am not a judge, but I know what I like and this calls to me to leave a most positive response. Somehow I like the flipped version best and the darkness of it gives light through your pen. Thank you for sharing and your experiment worked out quite well.


  • LittleMoon silver member
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    What an amazing write this is. I can't find the right words that could do it justice. Precision engineering in words, it must of been so difficult but when finished, how proud you must be. This is something really special, very well done indeed.

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was an excellent experimental poem on your part excellent beginning - or was it the ending?!? or both very good job enjoyed it both ways AND NOW what about attempting to have it the same way left-to-right right-to-left? thanks for sharing a veryu well thought out effort regards zaj


  • lindaburns gold member
    February 20, 2008

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    I must echo the OMG

    This looks so hard to do! Strange, but to me the first line carries the word “down” better than the last line does. Hhhmmm. VERY good.


  • Elfin
    February 20, 2008

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    Well Kirbysman, I am speechless!!!!. What a wonderful piece of work. This form is new to me but OMG it cries out to be tried. I can't fault one word of your poem, the rhyme, rythme flow and content are all perfect.What can I say? "TRULY AWSOME" Val

1 - 16 of 16