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AM - Chapter 1

      In a cold sweat Acacia woke in the dark, eyes wide, panting. Her throat was tight as if someone was squeezing it, not allowing her to speak in those moments. Her hand went to her forehead, wiping the perspiration from her skin as she sighed in order to help herself relax. Looking at the clock she saw the glowing electric blue numbers ’4:30 a.m.’.
        Another sigh escaped her lips, this time one of exasperation. Even though she couldn’t see anything, her hands fumbled around and found her beloved husband sleeping next to her. She could hear him gently breathing; he was having a peaceful sleep, and while that did bring some comfort, there wasn’t much chance of going to sleep again after the dream she had woken from.
        She decided to throw on her robe and slippers, and make a pot of coffee. Sliding out of bed slowly and quietly in order to not wake up Vincent, she headed out of her room, using the wall to support her and help her walk straight, tiredness still overwhelming her.
        She sat at her kitchen table with one dim light on, her eyes not able to cope with bright lights right at that moment. Her mind was still on the dream. It had been horrible and far too vivid for her liking. The worst thing about it was that it was the most realistic dream she ever had. In fact it was more like a memory than a dream. It was strange that she not only remembered it, but how vivid the details had stayed with her even after waking up.
        Images flashed in her mind of from the dream. She could recall seeing a man. His face was a blur but he was struggling to be free of the bonds that kept him from moving until a dagger plunged into his heart. His scream… so familiar, rang in her ears until it was all she could hear. Written in the sand beneath the man was a symbol that appeared randomly many times throughout the dream.
        Another image that stayed with her was a beautiful dark haired woman who seemed to be held against her will. And the last thing she remembered was feeling extreme urgency, pain and power. There was a feeling towards the end of the dream that she couldn’t put into words. She felt a sense of fear, helplessness and death. It felt like it was the end of everything she knew and the beginning of something she didn’t want, almost a feeling of Armageddon.
        Her concentration was interrupted and a sudden rush of fear swept over as she felt a tight grip wrap around her body, her eyes widening in panic. However, she relaxed almost instantly as she came out of her daydream and saw to her left was the face of her husband, Vincent, smiling wearily.
        “How come you're up so early, Caysh? Are you okay?” He asked softly as he placed another kiss on her lips.
        He had noticed the tension within her body, seen the widening of her eyes in fear. If that wasn't enough, it wasn't like Acacia to wake up early unless she absolutely had to. Something was troubling her deeply and he knew it would be difficult to get her to tell him, and that was an understatement.
        As Vincent had guessed, Acacia debated in her head whether or not she should tell him about her dream. It was probably nothing and she didn’t want to worry him. Rather than look down, she forced on one of her convincing smiles and replied, “I was just having trouble sleeping, love. The stress at work has been awful and... you understand, what with everything else that we have going on right now. I’m sorry if I woke you.” She stroked his hand as she spoke, hoping her act was done well enough to persuade him not to worry for her.
        It was futile to get it out of her and he knew it. Instead, he took her hand in his as he pulled up a chair beside her and sat down with her, “I gotta be up in an hour anyways, so don't worry. But … hey,” he shrugged and waited for her to look at him, “Don’t lie to me, babe, please. If something's wrong, just tell me.” He kept a warm smile on his face but his eyes showed the apprehension clearly.
        She smiled, seeing the concern but trying to ignore it. She knew better than to lie to him, but this time she just kissed his hand and said, “I promise, nothing is wrong. …You should probably go back to bed, shouldn't you?” She didn’t want to be interrogated for information. He could take the hints. But still...
“No, I’ll go to bed in a little while. I want to sit here and spend some time with my wife.” He said with a big smile on his face. A smile that made everything else around her disappear.
        She sat there staring at his hand holding hers for a moment, then her eyes wandered and looked him over. He was wearing just a gray t-shirt and boxers as he usually did in bed. His ebony locks fell in his face but away from his piercing green eyes that were always full of so much warmth and compassion, nothing like Acacia's own mysterious and cold, yet captivating blueish-gray eyes. Her gaze trailed down to his arm and she began tracing her fingers over the scars. She was the only person who he could wear shirts that weren't long sleeved around. The memories of his drug addicted past were something he'd rather not remember or discuss with anyone.
        The silence they sat in was comfortable. Though Vincent knew she was upset, it had always been a fact that there was a special bond between them. Words were rarely needed to communicate. They sat in the kitchen like that together until Vincent kissed her as he got up to get ready for work. She made him breakfast and kissed him goodbye.

                                                                *    *    *
     
        Even though Acacia was exhausted, work still started at the library at 8:30 sharp like every other day and she knew today would be a long one. Vincent offered to call in a little late and drive her but she refused. It wasn’t a long walk to the library, once she crossed the bridge into the city, it was only five blocks. She loved walking, anyway.
        As she turned the corner she saw her co-worker, Fiona’s car. That young, bubbly blond never ceased to amaze Acacia. The two of them had been working together at the library for the past three years and everyday Fiona was the first one there and the last one to leave. Her work was always done right and ahead of schedule. However at the same time she had many childish traits. She was so innocent and even naive at times. Being four years older than Fiona, Acacia watched out for her as an older sister would.
        Acacia stepped into the building to see Fiona at the front desk with a cup of coffee in her hand, reading. Pigtails as usual, pulled up high on her head and bouncing at the sides of her sweet and youthful looking face. It was still hard to believe sometimes that Fiona was twenty. The way her legs were pulled up in the chair and crossed made her seem closer to a preteen. Her reading glasses did give her a bit of sophistication, however. But she was so self-conscious about them she would ONLY ever use them for reading.
        Fiona looked up when she heard the door close. A smile, one a bit large even for Fiona this early in the morning spread across her face as she leaped out of her chair. The clumsy girl, tripped and nearly fell, but she caught herself in a giggling fit as she bolted towards Acacia with her hand out, “Guess what! Guess what! Cid asked me to marry him!”
        “WHAT?!? Oh my... oh Fiona, that’s fantastic!” Acacia exclaimed joyously, pulling Fiona into an embrace with a smile on her face. She examined the ring and hugged her. She took the news with more joy than she usually would. Anything to get her mind off of the dream was bliss to her. “This is kind of sudden isn't it? What happened? How did he ask?”
        Anxious and willing to tell all, Fiona began about the night before, speaking so enthusiastically. "Well... like.. okay... see, after work I stopped by his place because.. you know he asked me to. And he was like... acting really... like...nervous and fidgety. And so like... I..."
        "Could you say ‘like’ more Fiona?" Acacia reminded, smiling softly. From time to time when Fiona would get excited, the word 'like' besieged her vocabulary.
        A small laugh escaped her, "Oh ... right sorry... okay so... so... I... I got there and I thought something was wrong, you know? I though he was gonna break up with me again or that he was gonna have to go on another long business trip or something. But then!" The pitch of her voice creaked for a moment, "He asked me to marry him!! Can you believe it!? I mean... after four years this is such a big step!” Fiona had her hands clasped together, eyes wide and bright, a distant look on her face. She was obviously playing the scene in her head over and over again and who could blame her? Acacia could only watch her in a bemused manner.
        “It really is. This is so wonderful, Fiona. I'm very happy for you.” Acacia took a sip of the drink she had managed to make while Fiona had rambled on to her.
      The girls’ conversation was over when their first customer walked through the door. Fiona went back to work with that serious and responsible aura and Acacia continued with her own work, unable to help going over Fiona’s news. It was better than going over her dream repeatedly. Eventually their boss, Mr. Ansel came in to let them know about catalogs and new books that were to be expected. Acacia kept herself in the back away from people as much as she could that day. She could not get that dream out of her head. All day it haunted her, the screams, the pain, the symbol… nothing made sense and yet it was all so very real.
        By the end of the day Acacia was ready to go home. Fiona offered her a ride as she did everyday and, like every other day, Acacia refused gratefully and walked. She hugged the woman before Acacia was aware of it happening. Despite not being the affectionate type, she needed Fiona’s affectionate and outgoing personality every once in awhile.
        On the way home, Acacia stopped at the bridge that connected the island she lived on, to the city. The sun was beginning to set, painting a beautiful masterpiece of sea and sky in blues, reds, oranges, and purples. It was a sight she had admired for eight years, since she first moved here at sixteen, and she still never tired of it. The majestic beauty of glittering stream and the soothing glow of the sun gave her a much needed of peace of mind.
        She walked through the door at 6:45. Vincent would be home in less than an hour so she got to work on making dinner. It was an everyday routine in their quiet and simple life. Some days their neighbor, Rafe would stop by for a little while and chat. Sure enough, not ten minutes after she walked through the door, Rafe let himself in with his usual smile as she tended to the dinner on the stove. “Salutations, lady.” He said with a slight grin. She smiled to herself for just a moment at his endless random greetings. Quickly replacing it with a frown before she spoke.
        "You know, Rafe," Acacia sighed, without turning around, "You'd THINK you'd have learned your lesson by now with that little incident of walking in on Vincent and me." The woman glanced over her shoulder at her friend, "But no. You refuse to look into the concept of knocking."
        "Aw, man. Do you really have to remind me of that right around dinner time?" Rafe playfully shuddered in disgust. "Moving RIGHT along... How are things?" the man asked as he pulled back a chair at the kitchen table and sat down, elbow on the table, resting his cheek on his fist with his legs parted like men tended to sit.
        "Honestly Rafe, nothing has changed since we had this conversation yesterday." She lied, not wanting to discuss her dream with him either. Then she remembered, "Oh, actually... you know my co-worker, Fiona and her boyfriend, Cid? Apparently he proposed to her and they’re engaged now." Her tone was somewhat less than enthusiastic. She glanced back at Rafe to see his expression.
        His arms crossed against his chest as his lips curved into a pleasantly surprised grin, "Really! Well it’s ‘bout damn time!"
      "Mhm,” An unenthusiastic grumble was her only response.
        Rafe raised an eyebrow and tilted his head questioningly, "What, you're not happy for her?"
        "No I am... I..." Acacia paused for a moment from what she was doing to think of the right way to explain.  "I am happy that she is happy. But I just... I do NOT I trust that... Cid," her words spoke with clear spite at the mention of his name.
Far too familiar with his friends’ pessimistic attitude, Rafe shook his head in amusement, "You don't trust anyone, Acacia. It’s not like she’s unhappy with him. Had he asked her when you first met her, then yeah, I’d say hell no. But he’s grown a lot and she's crazy about him... that's all that really matters, right?" As he finished his sentence he stood up from the table and raided the refrigerator. Seeing this Acacia rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. When it came to Rafe with food, any restrictions had proved to be a waste of breath.
"I just think she could do better. On top of that she is so young," Acacia sighed with a shrug. The more she thought on this whole engagement the worse she felt about it. The only reason she had taken the news so well earlier was because it was something to distract her from the nightmare.
        "Ummm... weren't you her age when you married Vincent?" Rafe's obnoxious, know-it-all tone broke Acacia's concentration. He closed the refrigerator door and sat up on the countertop with a curious but prepared look on his face. 
        She turned from the stove and gave him a scowl, even more annoyed that she could see he was forcing that cheeky, triumphant grin away. If there was one thing she hated more than being proved wrong, it was being proven wrong by Rafe. But having no argument, she simply ignored him and went back to her cooking.
        Rafe decided not to push it any farther. He sat quietly in a rather awkward silence for him, swinging his legs back and forth. It had always been such an easy task for him to get under her skin when he wanted to. In this case it hadn’t been entirely intentional. He was merely trying to make a point. Unfortunately if you’re going to be proving Acacia Draven wrong, in her eyes you’re insulting her.
        Of course this was not all news to Rafe; after twenty-something years of friendship he knew Acacia very well. She was always distant and cold to him even as children she acted superior to him. But that was part of her charm. Plus in a sense she certainly did have more class and elegance than he ever did. But to Rafe people like that were the most fun to befriend. It was like a game to him. His entertainment came from getting people like her to love him. 
        Generally when it came down to women and the game; they’d warm up to him and swiftly after, fall head over heels in love with him. That never did happen with Acacia. Much to the dismay of Rafe’s parents who adored Acacia; she and Rafe only ever possessed sibling-like feelings for one another.
        "I'm home, babe," Vincent said as he walked in, closing the door behind him as he glanced around the room. He saw Rafe who walked into view having gotten up to leave.
        "Hey man," Vincent smiled at seeing Rafe, slipping his hand into his pocket, "You leaving already? Why don't you stay and have dinner with us?"
        "Nah, three times this week was enough, mom's gonna start thinkin' I don't like her cooking anymore," Rafe chuckled, "Anyways, my stomach can't take any more of your woman's food. But you're both off tomorrow, ya? So I'll see you guys tomorrow." He quickly rushed around Vincent to the door to avoid getting attacked physically by Acacia for his insult.
        "Alright, thanks for stopping by Rafe," Vincent chuckled all too familiar with the way these two acted towards each other.
        "Bye guys," Rafe raised his hand in a mid wave, "Acacia tell Fiona I said congratulations." He kept Vincent between him and the fuming woman in the kitchen. All he heard was a tight reply which made him grin as he closed the door behind him.
        "Congratulate Fi for what?" Vincent asked curiously, walking into the kitchen.
        "Ugh, Cid asked her to marry him," Acacia said, almost with a snarl.
        "Ohhh, well, I know you don't care for him but I think that it's good for both of them. She's been in love with him for years and he's ... been getting better at not hurting her," Vincent said, sounding exactly like Rafe.
        Not wanting to have the conversation again, Acacia rolled her eyes and gave him a kiss, "Mhm, well... dinners almost done and I'm really tired so I think I'm going to bed early tonight. Are we still spending the day together tomorrow?"
        "Of course, babe. Tomorrow is going to be great."


                                                                *    *    *
   
          The local news broadcast was playing in the background as Acacia tended to making breakfast for Vincent. It was rare that they both had a day off together so when they did, they spent it as a couple. They made it a point on those days to not make separate plans. There were no specifics planned yet, but she was sure they would end up spending time together at the boardwalk and eventually end up at their friend Rafe's apartment.
          As for the dream, Acacia had already begun to forget about it. She decided it was nothing more than a dream and therefore nothing to worry about. As she finished cleaning up her mess from making breakfast and picked up Vincent's plate to take it to him, she heard a name on the television that made her turn around to stare at the screen. There she saw a picture of a man she did not recognize that floated beside the reporter who was speaking. The story was a missing person’s case. She listened as the reporter explained that the man, Damien Cross had been missing for some time now and though the search continued he was presumed dead. He was a 35-year-old man from the island, Kellifree and he had no family.
          Suddenly, a vision, much like the dream she had before, swept over her. Her body tightened up, went lax, fell to the floor, and started to convulse. Images raced through her head, too fast to really understand. The man that had just appeared on the television flashed in her mind so clearly. He wore such a distressing look of fear in his eyes just before a knife tore a large fatal gash into his chest. A nauseating sensation overwhelmed Acacia and she wanted to vomit.
          The convulsions seemed to become more violent as she witnessed more visions. She saw herself standing alone. In the distance a flash of light appeared in the sky that suddenly crashed into the ground. With that a large wave of death and destruction overtook her surroundings. There was chaos. In her mind she could see cities falling into despair. Oceans were rising; temperatures were rising and dropping to deathly numbers; the land beneath her seemed to shake and rumble until it cracked open.
          Suddenly, just as Acacia felt she couldn’t take anymore the crisis around her stopped. Her body still shook against her will but the terror in her mind had ceased. A light appeared and quickly outshone the destruction around her. Everything around her now was white and all that she could see was the woman she saw in her dream. Her eyes were closed and hands clasped in a prayer. She seemed to be floating peacefully. She was naked but her hair was so long and flowy it wrapped around her body.
          Acacia couldn’t take her eyes off the figure before her. Slowly the white began to fade and Acacia was standing in a room with computers and gadgets everywhere. The woman she saw was still floating but Acacia could see now that it was because she was trapped in a capsule. Then the eyes of the captive woman opened and connected with Acacia’s. Majestic, glassy, yellow orbs locked with her grey. And just before everything went dark, Acacia heard a whisper.
                                                  “Help me.”


                                                                *    *    *
   
          Rays of warm sunlight crept through the blinds. Acacia let out a content sigh before letting her eyes flicker open into slits, her gaze flicking from one place to another. She found that she was in her bed and Vincent was in the chair next to her. Before she spoke to him she glanced at the clock. It was 5:45 P.M. Quite a few hours had passed since she blacked out.
          When she looked at Vincent again, his face was still in his hands, like he was sleeping. She smiled ever so slightly before whispering, “Vincent?”
          The man jumped up immediately, having been thinking hard. At seeing that his wife was awake he became ecstatic, petting her hair and showering her with kisses, "Oh my God, Acacia... I was so worried... I... do you need anything? Are your legs in pain? Do you need something? Anything? Are you feeling okay?" He was talking so fast and so much in his worry that she had to be forceful in speech to get him to calm down and let her have a word in edgewise.
          With a bit of amusement in her voice, she gently touched his face and said, “I'm okay... I just don't understand... What happened Vincent?” Acacia rubbed one of her eyes, taking out the sleep from the corner of it.
          Vincent glanced away, not really wanting to think back on what happened, “I found you convulsing on the floor in the kitchen like you were having some kind of fit. Your body was shaking on top of broken glass and food. There was blood everywhere. You weren't," his words broke, hardly able to cope with the traumatizing memory, "You weren't responding to me. And when I got to you... you started gagging and puking. You couldn't even breathe."
          It was clear that seeing her in that sort of state hurt Vincent emotionally than it hurt her physically. Acacia sat in silence, waiting for him to continue. "When you... when you finally stopped. I called Doc."
          Another long silence. But this time it didn't seem like he was going to speak again. Growing somewhat impatient, Acacia raised her voice slightly, "Well? What did he say?"
          When she spoke, Vincent looked as if he was suddenly afraid to. It seemed like he was keeping something from her. And that was something Vincent just didn't do.
          After much hesitation, the words awkwardly came out, "H-he said you must have had a seizure and knocked yourself unconscious. He was here for a whole day and reassured me you would pull through," another brief hesitation, "He left and said to give him a call when you wake up.”
          Something was going on. She knew it. Vincent was acting so odd. But at the moment there were more important things to worry about. “You’d better go give him a call then. I... wait... he was here for a day? How long have I been out?” Acacia asked confused.
          “Two days. I've taken off of work. Rafe and his parents, Fiona, even Cid came by to make sure you're alright." Vincent leaned forward and checked the cuts and made sure everything had stopped bleeding and that she was comfortable before sighing, “I was so scared Caysh. I have never seen anything like that before... what happened to you? What made you have the seizure?” Acacia only shook her head, sitting up with an overprotective Vincent's help, "Babe..." he began again, this time looking directly into her eyes with intense worry and apprehension, "Didn't... didn't you tell me once that before your dad died he started have sei-"
          “I don’t really want to talk about it until I understand it myself. I’m hungry. Do you think you could cook me up something?” Acacia's soft but almost detached voice, cut him off.
          Vincent smiled weakly, still dreadfully worried however not in the least bit offended as he knew how Acacia was and this was her way of dealing with things, she would eventually open it up to him, "I’ll get your breakfast and call Doc.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead and rubbed her shoulder, "I love you."
          Another halfhearted smile was all he received in response. Acacia was deep in thought so Vincent left the room without another word. Though she couldn't hear the words spoken, she heard Vincent on the phone as he crashed and clattered the pots and pans around. She leaned back against the head board sorting out her thoughts. But before she could even fathom her vision or anything else there was a sudden shatter of glass from the front room then she heard Vincent yelling.
          “Vincent?” Acacia called, brow furrowed in confusion as she heard a scuffling. She sat up quickly. But as she went to throw her legs out of the bed at the same time, she suddenly became dizzy. Her balance was lost and she crashed to the floor heavily, letting out a slight yelp of surprise.
          The noise reached the front room and Vincent raced to his wife. The thought of her in any more danger gave him strength he rarely possessed. Regardless, their attacker was something more than human. Vincent reached the doorway and looked down at Acacia. She looked back at him, a sight for sore eyes, only for a moment of relief before he was kicked down next to her.
          Standing behind him was a hooded, cloaked and masked intruder. At his side there was a long thin sword. He took a step and raised his arm back to stab Acacia. Without a moments hesitation, Vincent flung his body over hers, shielding her and allowing the blade to dig into his shoulder.  Acacia’s eyes widened as Vincent cried out in agony, his hand clasping over the wound the intruder had made.
          As the sight of blood registered in Acacia's mind, her hand flew to her mouth as she let out a high pitched scream. Never in her life had she felt to helpless and pathetic. She was too weak to even move and help her husband. All she could to was watch.
          Vincent fell against her and she held his arm to keep him standing, a look of distress in her eyes. Both then looked up at their attacker who looked down at them with intimidation. He was completely covered in black and was very tall and it felt almost…inhuman.
        "Who are you!?" Acacia screamed, her tear stained face contorted with fear.
          There was no response. Not in words. Instead their intruder stepped forward. He slid the tip of his blade against Vincent’s chest and slashed his shirt open, revealing a mark on his body, one Acacia had never seen before. She stared at it in bewilderment, she gasped when she realized that it was the symbol from her dream. She looked at Vincent who kept his eyes on the attacker. The dark figure before them pulled up his sleeve to reveal the same mark on his wrist. He then pulled his blade back once again to finish Vincent. Acacia shut her eyes tightly and all she could do was scream.


FIN

Author notes

The storyline and characters are copyrighted to me. I've been working on this concept since 2007. There was quite a bit of it done starting Feb 20 1:02 AM 2008. However I've decided to go back and rework the story a little. AM is my baby and I would really appreciate comments to help me improve.

For a complete synopsis of the story - http://allpoetry.com/poem/3936551

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Frodofan silver member
    April 11, 2008

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    Is Acacia modeled on yourself? The way you describe her and her feelings about the dream seem very real! I couldn't help thinking of Apocalypto when you mentioned the ritualistic murders. And I like her husband Vincent. The way you describe him is almost like my ideal lover.

    "Vincent would be home in less and an hour"
    ^Just a really minor typo.

    Interesting ending. I have the feeling it is almost ironic.

    Rafe is interesting. I can tell you've definently thought out these characters. They are all very personal and believable. I'll definently keep following this, though it may take me a bit before I get around to reading Chapter 2.

    Well done!


    • Tarja
      April 11, 2008
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      Oh wow! Thank you doll face didn't expect you to read this! I will of course return the favor ASAP.
      Thank you for correcting my boo-boo;s.

      No Acacia is not molded after me. Not in the least. I am so happy you have found the time to read it! I look forward to hearing from you again... take your time!

      Love ya sweets... miss ya like crazy!


  • background music
    April 5, 2008

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    I also like how you've developed the two main characters and their relationship so far. Great introduction to them and to their lives.


  • xorandomxo
    April 3, 2008
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    wow

    this is amazing.very detailed.
    i like the characters and im going to keep reading


  • creationsfromheart
    March 31, 2008

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    When I came to return the favor I did not realize I was going to be in for a treat of a read your opening then ran to find your first chapter I will be reading more thank you for sharing your write with us. the detail is well done and pulls one into wanting to read more, I normally am not a fan of these types of stories , however i think will be enjoying the rest of this tale.


  • street-angel
    March 22, 2008

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    Amazin'

    Well I'm gunna say that it is awesomely awesome and I shall be back to read the rest when I is having more time


  • Accidentally Poetic
    March 9, 2008

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    I really enjoyed reading this sweetheart. You grabbed my attention from the start. You left me wanting more, which is always great.

    Crystal


  • Swan song gold member
    March 8, 2008
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    Suspenful and everyday mixed in. Gatherd alot but will read this again.


  • CherryOnTop
    March 2, 2008

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    Darling I love this amazing story and you have me craving for more.You are so very talented and you really should consider having this published.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    February 27, 2008

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    Wow I really like the detail in this hun! I feel the connection between Acaica and Vincent, just the gentleness between them. And I'm looking forward to getting to knowing Rafe a bit better.. I like his cheekiness. And as for Fi and Cid, well... I trust a woman's intuitition so I'm fascinated to see what's hiding inside that relationship!

    This is really well written!! Definitely set the scene with the nightmares and the slight sense of foreboding that something was coming to disturb their idealic lives!!

    Wahoo... I'm off to part 2!!


  • passionate-poet
    February 25, 2008

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    hello dear one, still keeping up with the fantastic writing! thanks for sharing, i like the new 'diary/story' writes. very good and quite entertaining.


  • Kelli Marie
    February 25, 2008

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    First off, I really enjoyed this read. It was a little hard at first. I think a couple of redundant lines leading up to the exposure of the dream, but when you got there the story came alive. I love the personalities you gave your characters. You could really tell them apart, which is something I find not all writers do. I did see a few things I questioned and give suggestions to...looking forward to reading more.


    "squeezing on her voice,"??
    "she had just had" I think "she just had" works fine.
    "she had not had a dream like that before." would, "she had not a dream like that before" work?
    Again, "most realistic dream she had ever had" "most realistic dream she ever had"?

    Kelli


  • daviscth silver member
    February 25, 2008

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    Wow sweetie, you are really getting into this story telling. You show an amazing talent Tarja. I really think it's an awesome job you have done with your first draft. Love you lots my friend.


  • darkthoughts101
    February 25, 2008
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    well writen and thought out , i could see them in the kicten thanks for commenting on mine

  • Leftfoot Leeds
    February 22, 2008

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    good character development and attention to detail for a rough draft look forward to seeing it develop
    LL


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    February 21, 2008

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    it draws you in, the details, the flow and everything just draws you into the characters, and that is what i feel makes a great story, keep it flowing


  • warrior-eagle
    February 20, 2008

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    I liked all the details,
    the picture in my mind,
    the writing down the thoughts.
    I would like to see the end of this,
    though it's just the beginning.
    But you guys are doing good
    as of now.

    ..Simply Me♥


  • HaleyMary
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent start. I like the character Fi. She seems so cheerful. She reminds me a little of myself. I look forward to reading more.


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a good start how do you pronounce her name? Great for a first draft, I'm putting up a story too if we are allowed! Great work


    • Tarja
      February 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hhaa... thanks so much. Acacia's name is pronounced "Uhh-Kay-Shuh."

  • Naraku No Hana
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I I I I think I editted this XD And put a lot more detail but I will have to goooooooooooooooo find it XD lol still trying to keep things in the right order XD

    hey, what could be a good idea nad easier is if you let me be able to edit this while on here if you wanted? so that it can be built up and we can both see how it's going without having to send the docs to each other all the time.


    • Tarja
      February 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Awesome!!! When you find that detail let me know.

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