blank and pure
no embellishments
no cover-ups
no illusions
bare and as it is
so here you go
have my naked heart
no big pretty words
to make it seem better
no second thoughts
to make the first ones
seem smoother or better
pure fresh and raw
here you go
naked blank and pale
not only like a canvas
with room to grow
and to be bettered
but also new and pure
directly from the
me within
no time to be cultured down
just put down here
as it comes
it is fresh
directly from my heart
and it is raw
full of power
unrevised
unrefined
the energy throbs
the power and the
brilliant wonder
of my blank naked heart
Author notes
Mhm, here it is. The complete lack of punctuation, capitalization, and color is there for a reason, it helps make my point.
I read the contest title and new what I was going to do... this took me about 5 minutes to write, as it came raw and unrefined.... and required no revision or editing whatsoever!
All I did was a 10 second spell check, and then hit "submit"... so yes, it is pretty raw and blank and is a piece of my own heart. Enjoy
A contest entry
- naked by le soir.
675 points, ended March 13, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments with structure, if you please
Comments
-
Mmm.... I like it. It is really choppy and repetative....
But then again, that IS what your raw work is before you start to polish it so it shines. I also belive it's good for the contest.... it fits the requirements and stuff, and it's thinking outside the box a bit, which I like.
I also love how just the description of the contest inspired you instantly to write this. Good work on that one Lizz
The lack of punctuation and capitilization seems to complete it, as well.
*heart*
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