Nothing in my life bends
It only breaks
Into little tiny pieces
I'm goin off the deep end
And holding on is harder than it seems
Looking so much easier
To someonme on the outside
And I'm on my knees
Begging God to know why
Why he took my baby
Why he deserted me
When I needed him the most
I'm breathing slowly
I always was the strong one
But now I'm gone
Who you knew is non-existant
Slowly killed off by pain
Now lying in shattered remains
I'm giving up now
Lost within a dream
Never wanting to face reality
Hiding myself away
You should have left me for dead
And I'm holding so much hatred
These are my dying days
There's nothing left of me for anyone
I'm closing myself off
My guard is drawn
Nothing will ever push through
It's over now
I can't hold on forever
But when will this all be over
Everything keeps closing in on me
And I can't take it all away in the blink of an eye
I tried to fight
Feeling all alone
Doesn't anyone understand
Tell me how to get through today
Just one more day
To find my way
And maybe this time
I'll fight just once more
But what I've become
I fear the most
And what can you expect from me
I can't step forward
Someone please break the silence
Just too much pain
I've fallen to pieces
I'm already gone
Just make my memories fade away
My world is a disaster
Everything runs through me like a fucked up force
I'm pushed over the edge
Taking my last breath
Cuz I can't handle the shit that I've been through
I'm ready to fade now
It's over
Author notes
My world is a disaster... I miscarried my daughter on Feb. 11, 2008... Nothing will ever be the same, I will never be the same, this is the 4th miscarriage ina row and I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me. I ended up with a uterine infection that spread to my blood and made me septic, 50% chance of survival, not knowing if I will ever be able to have children... my fiance saved my life... but nothing will ever bring back my baby and no parent ever wants to have to bury one of their children... They should have let me die, then I would be with her. There is no way to put into words what I feel right now...
Anessa Lynn "Baby Boo" Marks
Estará siempre en mi corazón
Comments
-
omg i cant believe u would go back to that loser losing ur child is the best thing to happen believe me u dont want a kid with him i mean and thats pathetic u write a poem bout him breaking ur heart and then u go back to him wow
-
-
Listen here,
To be honest with you, I really could give a shit less what you think about me, my relationship, and my life... just cuz you can't hold a relationship don't mean you gotta be pissy with everyone else. I married him on Feb. 25th 2008 because I love him with all my heart and we are happy together, nothing you or anyone else say or do is going to change that. And where do you get off saying that losing Anessa was the best thing that could have happened?? She is an innocent child... and don't get me started about your poetry lol all you do is write poetry about Ross... you bitch and moan about him screwin you over and then you go right back to him at the drop of a hat. So before you even think of bashing me and what I do with my life you better take a closer look at yours cuz I don't sit around judging you and what you do... you are worthless in my book.
-
-
A heart felt piece
Hey Sweetie
Reading this for me and the things i had to witness with you and the miscarriage and almost losing you a few days ago i can understand your pain. But just to let you know as long as i am around i will do all my best to keep your world spinning and keep it from crashing down. It's gonna be a rough task keeping myself and you sane but i think i can do it. I know that Anessa would want that sweetie. I love you with all my heart love yours truly
Your Disease that won't disappear
Charley
Adding your comment:
