Emilié was a young girl out of France
Running, trying to escape her past
She held the world in her hand
But her life fell apart too fast
Now she's got nothing left but pain
Ivan was a man straight out of Moskva
Whom after the wall's fall headed West
Ran into a distrought young girl
Thought helping her out would be best
He tried to learn this girl's name
And he couldn't help but wonder
Why she cried so much
He tried to ask her why
But she never would say much
Running, running from all of her shame
She asked him one day what it's like in Russia
He said it's something he wants to forget
She asked him what could be so bad
He was an ex-Commie cadet
Executed people every day
Now this made Emilié start to cry again
Even with his past he didn't seem bad
He asked her what the problem was
She said his past had made her sad
Even though he couldn't be to blame
He said that's why he left when the wall fell
To escape the past and see the Western world
He expected many marvelous things
Not a young troubled French girl
With no story but in pain
One night Emilié had had enough
She couldn't run from her past anymore
She confronted Ivan and
Talked about things she couldn't before
In a moment Emilié had destroyed her shame
She had been a coke slut, moved from Belgium
Whose dad took his life with a gun
She took it all upon herself
Thought there was something she should've done
She alone took all the blame
Late that night she stood watching the Rhine
Wondered how nice it would be to take a swim
Felt the water, nice and warm
Took a leap and plunged right in
And poor little Emilié had no more name
Ivan never saw Emilié again
Though he often thought he heard her voice
He swore he saw her face in a crowd
Poor little Emilié Von das Kreuz
Left in history without a name
Comments
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wonderful
the story is capturing, the subject is interesting and captivating
it is sad, esspecially the last line

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I think that this may be better written into a short story but you're the author and it was obviously your preference to write it into a poem. I can't really get into the flow of the poem because i feel like it's really choppy but i think that the storyline is good. It needs minor corrections like when you constantly refer to her being french but she's from belgium. details like that confuse the reader. there are other small glitches like that but overall, it's very creative
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I didn't really pick up on the rhyme scheme right away. But you did a great job with it especially with the last line of each stanza rhyming too. Nice story
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That's beautiful. Perfect. Very sad.





