Blurred is the view
Every time I remember you
Walking with sadness and fear
Making me suffocate with drowning tears
Every time I remember the sound
My body shakes and my heart pounds
I tried to peak to see inside
The cold room of death murdering my child
Then one came out holding my child's blood
The blood was thrown to mix with mud
Turned around and saw you bleeding in bed
that’s when I pronounced myself dead
what reality or fact, what truth or lie
Will let me again ever stare into your eyes...
3:38 AM
20/02/2008
I can't be sorry enough...
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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this is very powerfull it hits me hard because it happaned to me....i hope to read more of your work your are a great artis
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The pain I felt in this write held my breath back, it made me ice cold on the inside.. The lines are so well written and yet they cut sharp.. The short verses add to our heart pounding..
Speaking out is the best way to heal. Hope you find your peace, and keep writing..
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touching
First off, forgive yourself. As hard as it seems we all make mistakes and to punish yourself for life is not healthy.
This write screams of the pain, lose and memory. I know this pain, many of us do. U never forget, but we all need to forgive. Well done.
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wow..def evokes alot of emotion and this proves how there is an emotional death as well that some say is not included. great poem. line 8 is what gets me "the cold room of death murdering my child"..def puts things into perspective when ppl dont see them as actual children until its your own.
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I have been through similiar but different so this one really evoked some buried emotions. I could never look into her eyes again what deceitfully transpired. My condolences on your loss and congratulation on writting it out, something I never dared attempt.
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That is so emotional!
wow you really do describe,
How one would feel who had this happen,
Roght down deep inside,
It is a great poem, i love the pharase
"the blood was thrown to mix wiv mud",
Excellent way to describe and say this,
All in all a marvellous piece of work,
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Oh, my gosh. Aren't you glad that this touched you in a way that it changed something?
Piercing. Needs to caption this very portrait for the life issues in our world.
Might help heal.
Congrats on a stunning write.
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Thank you for bleeding for me. Your soul is beautiful in anguish. Forgive yourself. You have suffered enough.
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This is so sad. It made me cry! There is so much sadness in this poem. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Very powerful write. Keep up the good work.
In Christ,
~Kayla
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So truly sorry for your loss. This is one life shaking decision that can echo down the years. Please know that we feel for your pain. Thank you so much for sharing.
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A very touchy subject, and sounds like a personal one to you. How very sad - I've always wondered how a woman could not at least hear a mans thoughts when it comes to this topic .. but unless I'm in those shoes I guess I couldn't know. Your poem left a very sick feeling in my stomach. It's too real for me to handle.
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wow that's very powerful! How sad.
Peace and Love
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wow. this is amazing. the pain u feel is so evident.
i'm so sorry you went through this -
wow this is sad! I truly cried.... and can't stop
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wow this is dark but really well writing !!!
what reality or fact, what truth or lie
Will let me again ever stare into your eyes...
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It's as Yvette said, the pain reaches from the page and grabs your readers by their throats, screaming for attention. I'm sorry you had to go through something so horrendous, and I can only begin to imagine what you must be feeling... This is so sad and compelling, yet laced with an ineffable grief, one known only to someone who has been there. My deepest condolences in light of your loss.
In love and light,
Laura
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Wow what an incredable poem, I mean there really is nothing i can say that hasnt been said already other then I'm sorry you've had to deal with that.
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Your poem has enough imagery and emotion to reach out from the screen and virtually scream in silence. Such sadness, such, such sadness. Perhaps this pain filled reality should be in the Adult catergory dearest poet, it is not a criticism at all, but it is too graphic for our young poets to read. I wish I had some comforting words to offer, I have been incredibly moved by your own words.
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i loved it!!!
very good... -
wow, thats amazing.
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This is so very sad but I do understand your grief and pain my thoughts are with you and you need to open up and let your heart heal and be well
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dear all
thank you all for you love and care
GOD bless you all and cast away your pain... -
I feel it.
I know what you're feeling. I was forced to have two of my own, and to this day I still have nightmares about it. I just want to say that you're going to be okay; everything's going to be okay.
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so heartwrenching
you must forgive yourself..you must go on..the pain will overcome you..and forgiveness is the only solution..yes abortion is terrible..but you are sorry..and there is forgiveness..please know that..you should probably seek counseling..there are trained professionals who know what you are going through..I don't know your belief in God..but making peace starting there is a huge step..I hope you get the help you need..be well, be safe and
blessed be,
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This is so heartbreaking and painful to read .
Our family have just had two new babies born this week and my heart is overjoyed wit the miricle of birth .
So sad for anyone who makes a diseason like this .Love & light -
Oh!! this brought me to tears and made me cry so hard.. I'm sure that it was hard for you to write this.. Ihave lost thre childre, though not by abortion though the way I lost the first two felt like it..I am really speechless with this write.. i really don't know what to say.. My heart broke while reading this.. Thank you very much for sharing something so personal.. It touched many hearts I'm sure..It sure touched mine..
Angel
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My heart has just been ripped out by this!!! So much depth of emotion that it leads the reader to cry with you.... So very relateable that it eats at my gut!! My ex demanded the abortion of our child and I was to scared to raise another child by myself and so complied with his wishes but I think of that child so often and even after all these years that baby lingers in my heart. I have since moved on and have a wonderful new family and I hope to make amends with my pain one day. A very beautiful write and I am so sorry that you walked this road before as well....
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My heart goes out to you!
I am so sorry for your pain. I could only imagine how you must feel. In life I guess that things have to happen one way or another. Don't worry though, god knows you had only the most sincere and honest of intentions.
Thankyou for sharing this.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Have a great day!
God Bless you dear friend.
~Only1love4ever
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Wow. I can't even imagine how you feel. Actually, that's not true. This poem forced me to imagine how a father witnessing an abortion would feel.
The feeling is incredibly sad, but one that I think all Christians need to feel in order to understand the depravity of this world, and then show the immense love and salvation of our heavenly Father.
So, thank you. -
This is deeply composed in the pain of loss. I know so many women don't stop to think about how the man feels. A father is just as important as the child she is doing away with. I caould not help but cry when I read this one. Its so dark and intense....Why and how could she do this.....I have children so I cried for the baby & father it was so emotionally sad........novy
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intensely heartbreaking
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Wow! Quite powerful.
Structurally, it is uneven. The pain and emotions in this are vivid. The only thing I would really suggest is changing the sixth line:
"My body shakes and my heart pounds"
I know it is not an exact rhyme, but it works.
Overall, very nicely penned.
Thank you for sharing.
rous
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this is intense, the feel of guilt really shows especialy in the end and this emphasized the guilt part...
The cold room of death murdering my child
Then one came out holding my child's blood
The blood was thrown to mix with mud
this part is good, i liked the link in it , child-child's blood-blood....
And the scene is so fresh that i could tasted and smelled the bolld, i felt the agony of the bleeding person and i really can relate to you pronouncing urself dead...
and it's true, no matter what, u can never stare back in those eyes. u fear the truth of hate and hate fears u...
keep up the good work
PEACE
*******JOWELL*******
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I can't even comment on this properly as the pain rips through my gut and the tears fall. Oh my goodness, there are no words except to tell you that I now understand this and so much more. This has been an eye-opener and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with me.
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