Not To Worry

So you are going to be a grandmother.
Oh I bet you have some sage advice for the new parents.
Among them these jewels.
That awful smell that hits your nose means that the baby has not expired but you need to change the diaper.
You know you have pinned the diaper on the baby wrong if the mattress comes up with him.
That cute smile he has sometimes means that yes he loves you but he has a surprise for you in his diaper.
When changing the diapers if it is a boy you will get first hand experience in being baptized.
The fact that they tell you the baby sleeps sixteen hours out of the day, does not mean the baby knows which hours that will be.
First time fathers spend their first days making funny faces at the new baby.
Then he makes funny sounds and faces when it is his turn to change Junior.
Ladies do not despair when daddy shouts out, "Do you think I will fit in there again." You can break his nuckles in revenge.
You can always aim the baby at unwelcome, good intention advice from the old maid down the street. That is while changing his diaper.
Grandmothers really are a blessing in disguise and they love to compete when buying darlings outfits for baby.
I have never actually seen two of them split the baby but I have seen them fighting over who buys the Gramma loves me clothes.