She wasn’t special,
just another silhouette of a past wife
against the cardboard like city backdrop,
blending into soft subtle melody
until cascading neon spotlighted her; centre stage.
A weekend whore whose lips made money
seven days a week,
and rain knew it was a good day for death.
She was caught between that last drag
and unopened umbrella,
those tiny sequins scattered about her shoulders
told me which had won.
I was the sniper penetrating her arc
with my thousand yard stare,
knowing she was already dead meat
waiting to be tenderised.
Like a mist I crawled from the canal,
melding my footsteps to the rhythm of hers,
breathing the echoes of her scent
that ebbed on breezes tide.
She stuttered into underpasses maw,
weaving through the maze
of discarded needles; discarded lives,
and she was mine.
Her rabbit eyes reflected knifes refracted light
as she crashed like a waterfall to the floor,
her scream washed away in ether sleep.
Stocking bands underlining the pseudo virginity
of her white panties; soon to be stained.
-I hated her, this female, this woman .. my wife. –
Black ringlets that rested upon her pubis
like a nest of spiders tempting the male,
then sucking his life away.
My six inch “tool” was hard and cool
and slipped so easily into her vertical smile,
slicing, tearing through tunnel walls
and orgasm of blood baptised my hands
in a menstruation that didn’t stop.
she was cold like the dawn
that fought its way above the horizon,
as I scrawled her number across the floor,
I fixed my façade, melted into suburbia
and left her to be breakfast for the entranced rats.
Author notes
NB: I am not a killer, nor a rapist .. this write is pure fiction.
Depending on the response I may continue this killers exploits in further writes.
SUICIDE/MURDER:
Write about your own, or someone else's. If you choose murder, tell me why you choose your victims, how you kill them. If you pick suicide, tell me why you want to die, and what your preferred method is. Make it dark and pretty, but if I see ANY wrist-slitting emo crap, I'll end up playing in traffic!
A contest entry
- DE II Contestants ONLY by Immortal Obscurity.
525 points, ended March 7, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkest poems by HatedLoveDieingRose.
400 points, ended December 5, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow
this poem is so powerful. It made me cry, only because i had a cousin get murdered.. so it was hard for me to read it. but it was a wonderful poem! -
very cool poem I liked this alot very creative I loved it but it has to many lines and you didn't really follow any of the rules so I am going to have to remove this from the cointest I am sorry
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Wow, great write, it's well written and very dark and eerie, well done. Thanx for entering and good luck!
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Wow... Seriously, Colin, this is beyond creepy! The sexual sous-entendres in the second-last stanza definitely grabbed me. I am extremely impressed by this effort! Well done, and good luck!
Laura xxx
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JUDAS DENIED ~ 'nuff said
This style of writing and descriptions reminds me of my dear friend, Judas Denied (who is at AP, yet has been kind of silent for a while, esp. with poetry). I am just entranced...
All I can say is wow, and I am not even bluffing the slightest bit. I can not sit here and write to you my most and least favorite, because all fall into the first category.
Holy...
...
Thanks for entering DE II and good luck.
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Throw me his page link .. I'd love to read some of his work (assuming they are a male
)
and thank you for the rave review
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WOW...man you sure have talent for this. I would love to see you continue this story, maybe someday your killer and mine could meet up, say hi and kill someone..lol
Excellent job, good luck in the contest.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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Exceptional
The poet stayed true to his need to create descriptively and poetically.The description is vivid, the emotion chilling, the reader is afforded entrance to the psycopathic mind's eye.
From the first line " she wasn't special" the write exposes the need to denigrate the victim,liked very much the wordplay of " just another silhouette of a past wife" immediately it both isolates the female and yet marries her to all the other past wives everywhere " the reader feels the hatred building.Stanza 7 has original usage of description for the mons and exposes the duality of the predators fascination yet abhorance for it's power to pull him towards it with the curse of Adam.
The penultimate stanza is where the killer becomes undone, fuelled by the testosterone and adrenaline racing through his veins he carries out an act which is neither love nor lust, the vicious penetration is about the need to subjugate and feel all powerful, the description and the act itself is a vicious assault.
An extremely well written write.
I have a sense of unease generally re writes of the dark, for there is already too much dark in the world, am aware that the liberty of creativity should not advocate or incite but shed light. The writer meets that personal responsibility, he doesn't add to the dark but literally exposes it, the piece is even more chilling because if the intensity of this graphic write may be produced from a sane, calm person being creative, then just where does the mania end for those serial killers who unleash thought into action?
An horrificly fascinating write, not just because of the taking of life or the rape/necrophilia but because of the poets ability to paint it poetically.
It would be wrong to say I enjoyed this write, I did not enjoy being privvy to the machinations of the mindset or actions of the killer but boy did I enjoy the original descriptions and it opens up the debate re how as a society we can create something artistic out of a portal of hell, yet perhaps if we don't sanitize it we couldn't digest it.
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owwww
love the DARK...wow..what a gripping write..you could be a novelist..your imagery is phenomenol..flow is amazing..
A weekend whore whose lips made money
seven days a week,
with soft peeks of humor..dark humor..can hear this Sam Spade voice speaking, reading this write in my head..hehe..and your ending is to die for..excellent write my friend..NAMASTE...hugs a bunch..
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