Snow fresh waters trickling down rocks
Lower reaches sodden, the tears of these titans of stone
One shepherd boy amongst his flock
Ten sheep in all
Legends of the falling
Sodden corpses of those one winged birds
Decay darkened leaves on the dirty ground
Freed from snowy coffin by winter's retreat
Sun kissing some far off place
Steps retraced down ridge to dale
Sheep so hale follow their boy
Blue eyes searching the caves for wolves
Humble hovel
home of thine
Sleepy shepherd boy count your sheep
Fair friends of wooly mind
Shepherd count your sheep
You've only nine.
Putting the nine within their pen
The boy grabs staff and sling
Returning to the willful wilds
Ground cold against fearful feet
Eyes alight eyes about
The moon watches wolves follow him out
Shepherd boy ignoring slinking shadows
Listening for his brother's cry
Thorny hands reach out from the dark
Shepherd boy screaming
Quick steps
Staff dropped
Sling cut
Stones lost
Running
Bleeding
Weeping
Falling against the dew dampened dust
Dripping hisses crawl away
Thorny prints upon his limbs
Blood following his tears down dust sodden cheeks
He breathes
Struggling to rise and move away
A castle watches above
Shadows chase him hobbling across the yard
Dark eyes drinking from the pools of blood
Ice hangs like fangs from the castle door
Unbarred unmanned
His stumble tosses his cheek to greet the floor
Silence scratches against forgotten walls
Rising again he climbs the twisting stair
Dark eyes whispering in through the door
Tasting his bloody footsteps upon cut stone
Moaning with so dark a terrible pleasure
Sweat upon the bloody tears
Breath forcing itself between teeth
An open door
Princely figure upon the floor
Dark eyes full of fear alight
on the smile
Bold prince spread eagle with limbs akimbo
Grinning beyond bloody lips
Shepherd boy limping beyond dreaming prince
Hands to rest upon the bed
Of a sleeping beauty
Fair skin and fair hair
a dream
He leans over her
Dark eyes staring
Her eyelids move with a fearful passion
He trembles
But a kiss
A soulful solemn kiss
One to rouse
To…
Blood upon her lips
Sobbing
Stumbling
Falling
The prince catches the boy
Heavy hands of a violent lust
The prince smiling a bloody smile
Pulling the boy down
Screaming
Hands to face and foot to neck
Boy against man
Howls of pain replace an eye
Bare feet slapping bloody stone
A tumble
A fall
A greedy claw
Thorny hands to toss a boy down the stairs
Thorny hands drag him down the descending stone
He cries
He sobs
A woeful moan
The shadows at the bottom of the stair
Across the hall
The shadows wriggle and writhe with glee
Thorny hands dragging the bloody boy across the floor
Cloak in tatters
Limbs so bright
Moonlight caressing red splotched arms
Drug by the foot
Desperation a feint hope
A fervent twist and then out the door
Shepherd boy running out into the dark
Courtyard drenched in the glare of the night sky’s eye
Crackling thorns arise afoul
The wind amongst them whispers
A meager shape whimpers within
Shepherd boy at the cruel mercies of piercing hands
As the thorns surround him
Cradling a lonely lamb
Author notes
Option 3
A contest entry
- Options - Hit me with your best by Stormy Sky.
450 points, ended March 24, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LONG POEMS ONLY by Darc Soul.
600 points, ended May 27, 2008, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites welcome.... by Luckintheshadows.
500 points, ended September 10, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The darkwrite Challenge Returns by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
800 points, ended October 11, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOLDEN DARKNESS by Perennial Plague.
400 points, ended November 17, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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oh man, that is intense. beautifully intense
the incredible emotions, there are SO many, but they all work together to form this beautiful piece. i really really love the ending, especially
"As the thorns surround him
Cradling a lonely lamb"
it really strikes home, since at the beginning there were ten. i love the fear injected once the line "you've only nine" is read. amazingly written, thanks for entering! -
This is an excellently crafted poem and the story is capturing. I must admit that when I saw the length or it I emitted a sigh, as my attention span can be a little short. But to my surprise I was drawn in from the first word to the last. This is certainly a haunting tale that you tell and has been worded wonderfully. It kept a solid storyline right the way through which shows great storytelling skill.
"Heavy hands of a violent lust
The prince smiling a bloody smile
Pulling the boy down
Screaming"
This part really stood out to me, it's as though every word was placed perfectly.
Thankyou very much for entering this into my contest.
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Wow, wow, wow! Yes, this poem was long but my eyes were glued to the screen. Well done! I loved the imagery and the flow. The imagery! Oh my! Hahaha. Great work. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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This is by far one of the best i have read thus far. Very good imagery on a twisted path to a darkened hell.....I love it.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Oh my, oh my, I totally should not have read this now....it's dark and windy outside and I know I'm going to have nightmares...this is just truly awesome, definately a favourite in this contest so far! Your imagery is just so incredible, I love the horribly dark depths of this poem, a truly macabre write, that shows off your obviously uber-talent! I don't really have a favourite part, except for maybe the last two lines, which really bring the poem a fantastic ending.
It's very easy to see why this creation has a gold trophy. Thank you for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
awesome and very dark,thanks for entering!
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I really enjoyed this poem, I know I've read it before, but I can't believe I didn't comment on it! Very well written, nice flow and reads very well. Thank you for your entry into my humble little contest, I do appreciate it
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Rising again he climbs the twisting stair
Dark eyes whispering in through the door
Tasting his bloody footsteps upon cut stone
Moaning with so dark a terrible pleasure
gorgeous. deliciously evil. above is my favorite stanza. i was weary about reading it as it's so long, but now i am very very delighted that i have. I love how wicked you made this poem.
good write.
good luck.
Stormy
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Thank you very much for allowing me to take part in your contest!
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Your poem has great imagery. I was a little confused as to what was actually taking place. I can only give a little comment as there are so many entries. Your score, Title:9 Diction:9 Syntax:7 Wowness factor:9 Total:34. Thank you for entering and participating. Good luck. Shancy.
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thank
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