Blackhawks circle overhead
silhouettes against the sky,
while sand strewn streets lie target
and the blood as yet to dry.
It’s the scars that never heal
in a town that’s robbed of life,
for the man who lost his son
or the youth who lost his wife.
It’s the animal inside
when the anger takes control,
and the quiet scares like hell
robbing splendour from your soul.
But the wary eyes ingest
beauty in this war torn land,
as heat builds up the mirage
across golden desert sand.
And the warmth you feel inside
hearing Muslim call to prayers
understanding not a word
lays the ghost of world affairs.
But risk is second nature
in this land of war and pain,
without risk there is no freedom
without freedom there’s no gain.
A contest entry
- Everyday Beauty....... by GodsTrueSoldier.
550 points, ended March 4, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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The last two lines of this are so powerful, they drown out the rest of a really good poem, those two lines alone are enough to carry any poem, great insight, and wonderful job here.
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=D I like it, it is very nice the rhyming is beautiful really is....I nejoyed reading it (twice by the way) xD my fave rhyme i dotn know why is 'It’s the scars that never heal
in a town that’s robbed of life,
for the man who lost his son
or the youth who lost his wife.'
Thanks for entering and keep up the great work! -
wow, you know this is a mix of something you would do and not you, but that is what i like about it, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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this was a VERY GOOD WRITE images/metaphors were very good all lands at times "...are lands of war and pain" at times great ending thanks for sharing refards zaj
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This is just awesome,full of imagery here to make our minds forget about the negative things in the world,Hazel
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wow
This is a uniqe take on this prompt it shows sadness yet a trace of beauty among the trails of war strewn streets.
My favorite lines was the last:
But risk is second nature
in this land of war and pain,
without risk there is no freedom
without freedom there’s no gain.
Hugs
~Lisa~
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I like the very depth of this work, it creates a vivid picture in the readers mind. I would like to suggest you make one change as outlined below.
and the blood as yet to dry< is let to dry?
Thanks for sharing this poem. Rose -
a good poem, full of uplifting imagery to take us away from the darker sides of life, i will not speak on religion though.
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