Forced into oblivion I am captured by your eyes.
They seduce me with their sweet serenade of sincerity...
Lies.
Glowing with a thousand innuendos,
Masquerading behind that opium induced glow.
The rich azure cascades across my skin
Caressing it with your intensity.
My lucrative prize you demand
Each glance intensifies the longing,
Desire.
In them I see abysmal depths
Forlorn with sadness...yet covered with covetous greed.
I tend to my heart
I resist their enticing gaze.
Run.
A contest entry
- Another Word Bank by Titus.
450 points, ended February 23, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From February 2008 by amaranthine lover.
3150 points, ended March 28, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Run!
I really enjoyed the last three lines, impressive ending to a powerful poem. Well done, kind poet. I love the alliteration in this line: "The rich azure cascades across my skin" This was a wonderful read. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering!
-
beautifully done
-
One word: awe-inspiring. Words really do not do this piece justice, because to be honest this is unlike anything I have ever read before. All I can say is, there is some pretty amazing imagery in there "opium induced glow" being just one piece, but really I was spellbound by the use of language, and not just the words you used, but the order you put them in to create an effect. I rarely say this, but this, in short, is a masterpiece.
Don't change a THING.
God bless,
ELW x
-
Wow this is very powerful! I love the sence of inner conflict in this peice. It's wonderful.
-
What I like about this are two things. 1. You inserted the word, 'opium' in it brilliantly and 2. none of seemed false, and thirdly, you've made it all seem worthwhile to read. Well done. Muche enjoyed
-
I thought you worked the words from the list in rather skillfully. It was enjoyable to read something from you that used a different vocabulary than the norm. Isn't it fun to be stretched!!! I particularly like the ending here...but my favorite lines were
"Glowing with a thousand innuendos,
masquerading behind that opium induced glow."
Next time you enter one of my contests, try using a word bank. I'll never know it's you
-
i like this one a lot i especially love the first three lines and the end is great also.
-
Wow....very descriptive and deep. You have described this so well. I love the end where you resist the temptation. I love this line....
Glowing with a thousand innuendos,
Masquerading behind that opium induced glow.
"opium induced glow"... wow.
-
Kudos to you for resisting lust. It's a losing battle for me. Great work integrating the word bank. Loved it!
-
Very interesting... I could kinda pick out what words were word bank words because they were just stuck in there.. But, you did a really good job of incorporating them...
~ Wonderful poem
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
