Soft tense of moonlight
aglow upon fields of snow,
near a silent brook.
Author notes
I feel winter is far from over, yet I am going for an image of snow still upon the grounds, yet still a flowing brook, so it is the onset of transition between winter and spring, hence a silent brook.
I am not sure it works so well, yet I simply love how it sounds to my ear. :)
5-7-5 in syllables, with themes found in nature.
A contest entry
- ~ Haiku ~ A contest for all Winklings & their Friends #54 by Lyndon.
1000 points, ended March 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Yes
This is a beautiful poem of imaginative flair and nice rounded vowels. Its 5/7/5 syllabification suits well what you say. Thank you for this entry.
Sound is the soft essence of this poetry.
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Laughing at Individuality's comment.
Well, now, seriously... Your haiku is splendid and the images pour peace into my soul. 
I really mean it, too. 
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Impressive
I really felt the contrasting changes between the seasons as you get a brief meltdown of snow from say a warm wind that hints at the upcoming seaosn yet I also found the pictures you formed through words to be exquisite and extraordinary but love it!!! Its ingenius how some Haiku poet writers can prodice such deep well worded poetry. keep up the good work -
Yes, the sounds blend wonderfully, as do the images. "Silent brook" does suggest several possibilities--silent because covered with snow, silent because carrying no water yet, silent because the rush of spring thaw--with accompanying rush of sound--is not yet here. Very nicely done.
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This is wonderful, such imagery!
I see the silent brook as one that
is iced over, which is a gorgeous
thing and enhances the poem. You
are correct, that is a beautiful
line.
good luck in the contest.
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with a jumper and a few cans of beer for sure, i like nature scenes but i like to be off my head hwn looking at hem
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This is beautiful. It is easy to see what your words have painted for us. Very nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Kelli
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