Here on this loathsome beach I lie, bound and gagged with my own emotions. The pounding in my head, like so many drums of war, while oppressive, does not match my spluttering heart. I think of choices, options laid out before me, each with mind-numbing complexity. Surrounded as I am by cherubic people, living perfect,contented lives,I spiral downwards, into a dizzying dungeon of dark desolation, unable to move as I am chained in this condemned cell of my consciousness. I was led astray by false hopes and hollow promises, used for other's personal amusement. But now no more.
And, with that shining thought, I unlock the shackles and fetters holding me down and spring away, thinking to myself "She was pretty shallow anyway."
Author notes
Not really sure if it counts as poetry but....
I would break it into stanzas, but i think that the mash of text does a better job of showing the overwhelming emotion.
This is a humorous portrayal of the intense emotions of the teenager, or at least that's how I wrote it...
A contest entry
- The One That Got Left Behind- (Pre-writes only) by mystic-angel.
600 points, ended February 23, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain by confusionismylife.
300 points, ended March 14, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into Gold (or silver or bronze) pt 8 by whispernthedark.
700 points, ended October 25, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me feel it. by stop a bullet.
550 points, ended June 3, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A very strong and emotional poem. Great imagery. And yes, I think the mass of words does it more justice than just plain stanzas would. Great write, and thank you for entering.
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Love that last line, dizzying write, in a good way. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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wow. you blew me away. this is a really good write. deep and full, and awsome.
good luck turning your honerab;e metion into a gold. this poem deserves one.
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good write this hit me and i felt the emotions great job
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Hehe, lemme see if this clappy thing works this time...
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Lurverly
Very nicely written. I like how it pertains to modern times. -
Of course this is poetry. Im not sure if i like htis one or the darker one better... they are both good. Good job.
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Love it! Wonderful use of alliteration and vocabulary. As usual, the last line makes the poem.
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Brilliant! Such feeling in this. Well written. Thanks for your entry. Good luck.
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