How can I shield you,
When I can't control myself?
It's not your fault I get angry,
Please don't blame yourself.
How can I hold you,
When I won't remember it?
How can I complete you,
When I'm not whole myself?
My problem isn't that I don't love you,
Believe me that's not it.
It's just that I get so angry,
But I don't control it.
When I get mad, my body takes control,
My mind is a bystander.
I wish I could say I'm sorry,
but I don't know what I did.
I wish I could say forgive me,
but I don't know how bad it must have been.
I wish I could just stop it,
But I don't know what I need to stop.
You tell me that I said things,
But the thing is.. I forgot.
I want to know I won't hurt you,
But I know there's a chance I might.
You say I can't hurt you,
Because I love you too much.
I do love you too much,
That's why I'm afraid,
Because...
How can I protect you,
When I'm the one that might hurt you?
Author notes
I've been having blackouts. When I get angry, they take over, and I can't control myself. Later, I forget everything that happened in that time.
A contest entry
- To Everyone Lacking Awards by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by fairytalelovestory.
625 points, ended April 11, 2008, 72 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow I hope that things get better for you. Maybe a doctor can help you out. Thanks for sharing!
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wow
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Love and pain unfortuntly seem to go hand and hand. Anger is a hard thing to learn to control, but I believe if someone really loves someone they won't loose control over the one ones they love.
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That's a good subject to write about, very unique. What I felt though is that you were telling more, rather than showing me the scene, and I had a hard time with that. Maybe try using metaphors or similies, those could help. Other than that, this is pretty good. Enter it in a contest, you think?
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Wow.
Thats scary =/
I hope all the best.
Good poemage.
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